I saw a video the other day that was giving advice on how to best use blogger. One of the tips was to blog everyday so that readers have a reason to come back. Clearly I'm not doing very well with that seeing as though my last update came over 2 weeks ago.
I don't normally watch FoxNews. Mostly because I just don't need that kind of aggravation in my daily life. I really don't understand why people put themselves through that kind of frustration. That's besides the point. Jon Stewart was a guest on the O'Reilly Factor last week. Somewhere in O'Reilly's line of questioning he asked Stewart if he was disappointed that he voted for Barack Obama. I thought it was an interesting question. Especially since we are inundated on a daily basis by new polls that show the public's approval rating, his performance rating and a rating on his choice of shoes.
I wanted to ask the question of myself. Am I disappointed in my decision to vote for Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election? I don't think I am. Things certainly haven't been perfect over the last 20 months and there are absolutely things that could have gone differently. Even with all of that, I don't think I'm disappointed in my vote. I am, however, disappointed in myself. I'm disappointed that I, along with millions of others, put him on such a pedestal and expected him to turn water into wine as soon as he stepped into office. Truth is, he has been working on doing the things he promised. Why would I be disappointed that? I'm getting what I wanted. It's just not coming as fast as people wanted it to so there seems to be this uproar about it. It would be great if the unemployment rate would drop but the president can't force companies to hire people. He can offer incentives but ultimately it is up to them to make the final hiring decisions. That is just one example but it's the one that is currently on everyone's mind.
Things don't happen overnight either. That's simply not how politics work. His administration has not even been in office for 2 years and yet we all expect the world's problems to be solved. These are not things that can be figured out in a midnight cramming session. It takes time. We're at a point where we can no longer blame the previous administration for the problems that the country is currently facing but this country was in one of its darkest periods when Obama took office. That's not an easy hill to climb. They say that it takes at least 2 years for an administrations policies to show their affects. If that figure is correct, we should start seeing some big improvements in the next few months. At least we can keep our fingers crossed for it.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Benefiting from a tragedy.
Not that I should be surprised but even 9 years later, it was still impossible to escape talk of 9/11 today. I'm not insensitive to the fact that it was a tragic event that still means a lot to many people. I sometimes wonder if I'm strange because I don't share the same feelings with people about this day. I'm not saying I'm a conspiracy theorist or that I sympathize with the killers behind the plot. The truth is, I was in no way directly affected by the attacks. I was lucky to not have lost any family or friends and my day to day life was not altered in any way. There is actually a small piece of me that is thankful we were only attacked once. In countries all over the world people young and old wake up every morning in fear of what could happen to them as soon as they step out of their front door. We live in a great country that does it's absolute best to keep all of us safe.
While I may not share the same feelings of sadness that this day evokes, I do have feelings of frustration and anger. They are not directed at those behind the attacks but rather at those who capitalized on the deaths of nearly 3,000 innocent people. I get angry at the people/companies that began selling flags you can attach to your car, those ribbon magnets and the repackaged Lee Greenwood CD's. They created a product and told the public that it would make them more patriotic if they purchased it. They used those deaths to make millions upon millions of dollars yet they somehow fail to see a problem with it.
Lee Greenwood is one of my favorite examples. He had a moderate country hit in 1984 with his song "God Bless The USA." It never cracked the pop charts and at that time country was not as widely accepted as it is now. What does that mean? It means that no one heard or cared about that song in 1984 when it came out. Then in 2001, terrorists attack this country and his song that had been dormant for nearly 20 years magically gets reproduced and repackaged for mass consumption. When it was re-released in 2001 it climbed all the way up to #16 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts making it a legitimate hit. That also means Greenwood made a ton of money off of it. In fact, 9/11 is the greatest thing that happened to his career. He should really thank the families who lost loved ones for all the money he's made. Maybe he should give them some of the money. That will never happen.
I'd also like to point out one more thing about Greenwood. I remember being at a bar one night when the song came on. I was the only person in the establishment that was not singing along. I wasn't trying to make a point or take a stand. I just don't know the words. It's a poorly written and terrible song and I never gave a damn to learn the lyrics. Someone at the bar told me that I was un-American and I had no patriotism because I wasn't singing. For all of you that think Lee Greenwood is such a patriot for writing that song I'd just like to point out that he also recorded another version for our friends in the great white north called God Bless Canada. So does his allegiance lie with America or Canada? My guess is whichever country pays him more.
I didn't mean to get on a rant about Lee Greenwood there. I was initially planning on writing about the Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin rally being held in Alaska today. Palin herself said she couldn't think of any better way to commemorate 9/11 than being at a rally with Beck. First of all, commemorate isn't the right word to use here but we all know she's not the brightest bulb so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. The fact that they're holding a rally is not my problem. My problem is that they're charging roughly $100 a head to get into the event. Not to mention the $225 he's charging for a special meet and greet after the performance. I love how he is using the emotions of so many people just to put a few thousand dollars in his pocket. No one ever said he had class.
And there's one more thing. Last year when President Obama declared September 11th to be a day of service Beck went off his rocker. On his show Beck said,
"You want to talk about hijacking the most sensitive day of the year to anybody who has been alive in the last 25? You wanna talk about taking that day and using it for your own purposes? . .Your country has been taken from you. Your country is being taken from you . .Am I the only one that still looks at the skies of New York when a plane flies and still thinks of 9/11? I don’t want my history changed. I don’t want my traditions changed. And when we do decide to change them, we’ll decide together, not on a little conference call with all my little union buddies and the Sierra Club. You wanna talk about . . . the rape . . of a sacred memory? "
Is his rally not considered a rape of a sacred memory? How is asking people to shell out hundreds of dollars to hear you speak any better than the President asking people to volunteer time to help others on this day? The fact is that it's not better. It's worse. Much worse. It's one of the most heinous acts I've heard of since 9/11. It's a shame that more people don't see these people for who they really are.
While I may not share the same feelings of sadness that this day evokes, I do have feelings of frustration and anger. They are not directed at those behind the attacks but rather at those who capitalized on the deaths of nearly 3,000 innocent people. I get angry at the people/companies that began selling flags you can attach to your car, those ribbon magnets and the repackaged Lee Greenwood CD's. They created a product and told the public that it would make them more patriotic if they purchased it. They used those deaths to make millions upon millions of dollars yet they somehow fail to see a problem with it.
Lee Greenwood is one of my favorite examples. He had a moderate country hit in 1984 with his song "God Bless The USA." It never cracked the pop charts and at that time country was not as widely accepted as it is now. What does that mean? It means that no one heard or cared about that song in 1984 when it came out. Then in 2001, terrorists attack this country and his song that had been dormant for nearly 20 years magically gets reproduced and repackaged for mass consumption. When it was re-released in 2001 it climbed all the way up to #16 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts making it a legitimate hit. That also means Greenwood made a ton of money off of it. In fact, 9/11 is the greatest thing that happened to his career. He should really thank the families who lost loved ones for all the money he's made. Maybe he should give them some of the money. That will never happen.
I'd also like to point out one more thing about Greenwood. I remember being at a bar one night when the song came on. I was the only person in the establishment that was not singing along. I wasn't trying to make a point or take a stand. I just don't know the words. It's a poorly written and terrible song and I never gave a damn to learn the lyrics. Someone at the bar told me that I was un-American and I had no patriotism because I wasn't singing. For all of you that think Lee Greenwood is such a patriot for writing that song I'd just like to point out that he also recorded another version for our friends in the great white north called God Bless Canada. So does his allegiance lie with America or Canada? My guess is whichever country pays him more.
I didn't mean to get on a rant about Lee Greenwood there. I was initially planning on writing about the Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin rally being held in Alaska today. Palin herself said she couldn't think of any better way to commemorate 9/11 than being at a rally with Beck. First of all, commemorate isn't the right word to use here but we all know she's not the brightest bulb so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. The fact that they're holding a rally is not my problem. My problem is that they're charging roughly $100 a head to get into the event. Not to mention the $225 he's charging for a special meet and greet after the performance. I love how he is using the emotions of so many people just to put a few thousand dollars in his pocket. No one ever said he had class.
And there's one more thing. Last year when President Obama declared September 11th to be a day of service Beck went off his rocker. On his show Beck said,
"You want to talk about hijacking the most sensitive day of the year to anybody who has been alive in the last 25? You wanna talk about taking that day and using it for your own purposes? . .Your country has been taken from you. Your country is being taken from you . .Am I the only one that still looks at the skies of New York when a plane flies and still thinks of 9/11? I don’t want my history changed. I don’t want my traditions changed. And when we do decide to change them, we’ll decide together, not on a little conference call with all my little union buddies and the Sierra Club. You wanna talk about . . . the rape . . of a sacred memory? "
Is his rally not considered a rape of a sacred memory? How is asking people to shell out hundreds of dollars to hear you speak any better than the President asking people to volunteer time to help others on this day? The fact is that it's not better. It's worse. Much worse. It's one of the most heinous acts I've heard of since 9/11. It's a shame that more people don't see these people for who they really are.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Blast from the Past
The Social Network could potentially be the most pointless and absurd movie ever created. Then again, it could also be the greatest thing to ever hit theaters. I've been hearing a lot about it from friends and co-workers who seem to believe that it is going to be a phenomenal film. Despite all of their expectations I can't help but wonder why making a movie about the creation of Facebook could possibly be a good idea. I fail to see how a movie about a couple of guys who spent their entire lives in their dorm rooms and had no friends stole someone's idea and morphed it into a way for them to actually get friends. I mean come on. They took Myspace, cleaned it up and added a "like" button.
That doesn't mean I'm anti social networking. I have definitely found enjoyment through facebook and twitter over the last year or two. It's become a great way to keep in touch with people I don't see on a daily basis while also giving people shit in a public forum. There's something quite entertaining about calling someone's favorite sports team a group of no talent ass clowns and making sure that everyone in the world knows how you feel. And before you ask, yes. I am immature.
I've found that facebook also has a knack for bringing back memories that I had locked away in the back of my mind for a long time. We all have exes in our lives and, if we're lucky, they generally stay out of our lives. One can hope anyway. As of late my ex doesn't seem to want to follow those guidelines.
It's not really worth getting into but for the sake of this entry I will give you a little back story into that failed relationship. I was fresh out of college when I met her and we were together for 2 years before things went south. She was my first real girlfriend so everything was brand new to me, especially the break up. I was devastated and a virtual walking zombie for months following. Part of the problem was that her family and friends were my family and friends. All my best friends moved away after college so I was alone when we met. Her circle invited me in but just as quickly threw me out in the cold when she broke up with me. In the end, it was a smart decision. We were both young and naive and wouldn't have lasted much longer even if we did continue. That was four and a half years ago.
I don't hold any romantic feelings for her anymore but I do care about her and wish her the best. She was a huge part of my life and my development. They say you never forget your first love. It's true. From time to time she will get in contact with me for one reason or another. It's usually very brief and slightly superficial. I never initiate conversation but I'm willing to chat if and when she has something to say. I've noticed that recently she has been contacting me more and bringing up memories from our relationship that I thought I buried.
A few months ago she asked me for a mix CD. To a normal human being this would not be a big deal. I'm clearly not normal. The mix CD is a very sentimental thing for me. I should be able to piece together 17-20 songs without letting it get to me but I can't seem to separate the emotion from it. Sure, I can make a CD filled with random country music for my dad but that's not what we're talking about. She told me that she needed new music and the best CD's she has in her collection are the ones I made her while we were dating. Is it wrong that I was a little happy about this? I did crack a little smile knowing that no one else could replicate my musical knowledge and mix CD talent.
It took me almost 2 months to actually put the playlist together. It took longer than I expected because I had to spend extra time making sure none of the songs would give her the impression that I wasn't over her and that I was still holding on to a shred of hope that we might get back together. It's actually easier to make a CD of love songs for someone. It can be very difficult to find songs that don't express love yet also don't express hate. There aren't a lot of nihilistic bands out there. I did include some love and some hate but I would make sure to always follow one with the other. It took her almost as much time to thank me for it.
There was about a month of radio silence between us and then she popped back up again. This time talking about a restaurant that we used to go to when we were together. It's a very expensive restaurant (at least it was to a couple of early 20 somethings waiting tables for a living) so it held some strong sentimental value to us. Apparently the establishment is taking part in the Philadelphia restaurant week and she thought it would be worth mentioning to me. I suppose I appreciate the gesture but I don't live in Philly.
Why would she bring this up to me? Is there a method to her madness? Neither contact has altered my opinion of her but it has brought back feelings that I thought I buried long ago. Not feelings for her. Just feelings in general. I've been coasting through life the last few years without thinking much about starting any kind of relationship. Now I wonder if the time is right for me to start getting back in the hunt. I'd like to make a mix CD for someone. I miss taking a girl out to a nice fancy dinner once in a while. I would thank the ex for this but I don't think I really want to give her the satisfaction.
That doesn't mean I'm anti social networking. I have definitely found enjoyment through facebook and twitter over the last year or two. It's become a great way to keep in touch with people I don't see on a daily basis while also giving people shit in a public forum. There's something quite entertaining about calling someone's favorite sports team a group of no talent ass clowns and making sure that everyone in the world knows how you feel. And before you ask, yes. I am immature.
I've found that facebook also has a knack for bringing back memories that I had locked away in the back of my mind for a long time. We all have exes in our lives and, if we're lucky, they generally stay out of our lives. One can hope anyway. As of late my ex doesn't seem to want to follow those guidelines.
It's not really worth getting into but for the sake of this entry I will give you a little back story into that failed relationship. I was fresh out of college when I met her and we were together for 2 years before things went south. She was my first real girlfriend so everything was brand new to me, especially the break up. I was devastated and a virtual walking zombie for months following. Part of the problem was that her family and friends were my family and friends. All my best friends moved away after college so I was alone when we met. Her circle invited me in but just as quickly threw me out in the cold when she broke up with me. In the end, it was a smart decision. We were both young and naive and wouldn't have lasted much longer even if we did continue. That was four and a half years ago.
I don't hold any romantic feelings for her anymore but I do care about her and wish her the best. She was a huge part of my life and my development. They say you never forget your first love. It's true. From time to time she will get in contact with me for one reason or another. It's usually very brief and slightly superficial. I never initiate conversation but I'm willing to chat if and when she has something to say. I've noticed that recently she has been contacting me more and bringing up memories from our relationship that I thought I buried.
A few months ago she asked me for a mix CD. To a normal human being this would not be a big deal. I'm clearly not normal. The mix CD is a very sentimental thing for me. I should be able to piece together 17-20 songs without letting it get to me but I can't seem to separate the emotion from it. Sure, I can make a CD filled with random country music for my dad but that's not what we're talking about. She told me that she needed new music and the best CD's she has in her collection are the ones I made her while we were dating. Is it wrong that I was a little happy about this? I did crack a little smile knowing that no one else could replicate my musical knowledge and mix CD talent.
It took me almost 2 months to actually put the playlist together. It took longer than I expected because I had to spend extra time making sure none of the songs would give her the impression that I wasn't over her and that I was still holding on to a shred of hope that we might get back together. It's actually easier to make a CD of love songs for someone. It can be very difficult to find songs that don't express love yet also don't express hate. There aren't a lot of nihilistic bands out there. I did include some love and some hate but I would make sure to always follow one with the other. It took her almost as much time to thank me for it.
There was about a month of radio silence between us and then she popped back up again. This time talking about a restaurant that we used to go to when we were together. It's a very expensive restaurant (at least it was to a couple of early 20 somethings waiting tables for a living) so it held some strong sentimental value to us. Apparently the establishment is taking part in the Philadelphia restaurant week and she thought it would be worth mentioning to me. I suppose I appreciate the gesture but I don't live in Philly.
Why would she bring this up to me? Is there a method to her madness? Neither contact has altered my opinion of her but it has brought back feelings that I thought I buried long ago. Not feelings for her. Just feelings in general. I've been coasting through life the last few years without thinking much about starting any kind of relationship. Now I wonder if the time is right for me to start getting back in the hunt. I'd like to make a mix CD for someone. I miss taking a girl out to a nice fancy dinner once in a while. I would thank the ex for this but I don't think I really want to give her the satisfaction.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Is everything OK? Do you need anything?
The auto repair shop is a great place to get some good thinking done. The only other location that would even come close to competing with the waiting room of a repair shop is the bathroom. I find I do some of my best thinking in both places. Maybe that’s because I’m virtually shut off from the rest of the world. A repair shop is usually filled with other people waiting for their vehicles but they’re not exactly the kind of folks that I want to engage in conversation. If you’re sitting at a repair shop it usually means that something is wrong with your car and that does not a happy person make. I think I’d rather talk to someone at the DMV.
This particular waiting room is stocked to the ceiling with a variety of magazines. Oddly enough, they’re all women oriented. I see Working Mother, Better Homes, Ladies Home Journal and OK! Just to name a few. To be fair, there are a few ESPN magazines but there is definitely a female trend here. I wonder why that is. I usually see more men at a repair shop than I do women. Do women get bored easier at the repair shop? Are they more upset than men are and they need to learn about the 47 things he finds sexy about their toe nails? Am I putting way too much thought into this? That is a definite yes.
One of the magazines is open and something catches my eye. It’s a list of a few traits that women say they really like about men. They look at our eyes, smile and physique but the biggest thing is confidence. That gets me thinking. Where do we get our confidence? A co-worker of mine recently told me that I was very confident in myself. That caught me a little off guard because at the time I was analyzing a conversation that I had just finished with a girl that I’m interested in. Needless to say, it’s a good thing that analysis was happening in my head because it probably would have driven any normal human being to the loony bin.
I wondered why she thought I was confident so I asked her to elaborate. She said I understood who I was and I didn’t talk down about myself or praise myself. That’s a pretty fair assessment. I’ve always been a larger person through life. I’m not obese, and never have been, but I could always benefit from losing some weight. The best comparison would be someone like Jack Black. Sure he’s got a few extra pounds on him but he’s not disgustingly overweight either. ANYWAY, just like most chubby kids who get caught shopping in the “Husky” section, I took my fair share of abuse growing up. I was at an advantage because I played sports and was friends with most of those giving the abuse. It could have been much worse. Contrary to what you may find on Oprah or Dr. Phil, going through situations like that makes a person stronger. That could be where some of my confidence comes from.
I’m definitely confident about my knowledge. I was always near the top of my class in school. That kind of thing can be a blessing and a curse. For me it was neither. I was relatively quiet and reserved until mid way through my sophomore year. I sat in the back of the class and only did the bare minimum of class participation. I am not always right in an argument but I can always come up with enough facts to at least make it appear that I know what I’m talking about. That is something that I am definitely confident in.
Now that I think about it, the only thing where I really lack confidence is dating. Don’t take the wrong way. I have no issue talking to anyone. I could start up a conversation with a rock if I really needed to, although I think it would be quite one sided (Zing!). It’s not the women that make me second guess myself all the time. It’s the situation. There are too many unwritten rules to dating and I find myself always wondering if I’m breaking any of them. Am I coming on too strong? Do I go in for the kiss? Is this even a date? It’s amazing that anyone starts a relationship when you’ve got all these things running around inside your head. Then again, I’ve been single for about three and a half years so what do I know?
As defined by Webster’s Dictionary, confidence is “A feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.” It is also defined as “faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way.” I think that I meet the criteria so I guess I’m a confident person. Even though that last sentence was not very confident. I need to cut out the phrase “I guess” from my vocabulary now that I’ve become such a confident person.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Remember that song?
It's the nicest weekend I've seen in a long time but for some reason I decided to clean up the house. It seems to be a never ending battle that I've been fighting since the beginning of time. Or June of 2009. The last time I moved I found that I had way too much stuff. A major part of that "stuff" is the roughly 5,000 CD's I own. Moving is not fun when there are about 15 to 20 boxes of CD's. You see, you have to use smaller boxes because the bigger ones will be too heavy once filled up with the discs. Slowly but surely I've been going through all of those boxes and getting rid of the ones I'll never listen to. That's one of the great things about computers. I can simply rip the songs that I enjoy off these CD's then I can either sell, donate or throw them away. There's no more need to carry around Filter's "Title of Record" when there's only one song (Take a Picture) that's really worth a damn.
Most of the things I've come across are completely outdated and about as useless as a box of plastic forks at a soup factory. I found old letters, note cards, Red Sox schedule magnets from the 2006 season and 12 packages of post it notes. To be fair, the post it notes could be useful but I'm not much of a post it user. There was one treasure I came across that made the weekend a success. I found an old mix CD that I must have made for an ex-girlfriend a few years back. Based on the songs, I'm thinking it's from 2003 sometime. I popped it in the CD player and it has become the soundtrack to my cleaning filled weekend.
While I have absolutely heard all of the songs that are featured on the disc over the last few years, I've never listened to them in the order they are in on the CD. Doing so has brought back so many memories, and feelings, from that more simpler time just 7 years ago. When one puts together a mix CD for a girl, there is a lot of thought that goes into it. You want to find songs that can express your feelings. Singers always know how to say it better than you do. That's a fact. If the CD is for a girl that you are currently dating, those feelings can be much more obvious. You could put a song like Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You on a CD for a girlfriend and (if she doesn't break up with you) she would appreciate the fact that you put your heart out there. If you're just trying to woo a girl, you can't be quite as obvious. You have to find songs with deeper hidden meanings so that you feel better because you shared your feelings but she doesn't get freaked out. Once again, basing my opinion solely on the songs that made this CD, I think it was intended for a girl that I was not in fact dating at the time.
Let's see if we can figure it out by taking an in depth look at the songs...
1) The Bens-Just Pretend - I'm thinking that I chose to lead off the CD with this song because it's catchy and it was hip. Not many people were aware of The Bens (a project featuring Ben Kweller, Ben Folds and Ben Lee) and I probably thought it would win me some points because I did know about them.
2) Hoobastank-The Reason - To be fair, I had this song almost a year before it became one of the biggest hits of the 2000's. I loved it when I first heard it but once it became the second single off the record and started being played on every single radio station about every 7 minutes ( I distinctly remember it being on four stations at the same time one morning) I began to loathe it. This CD must have been made before that moment in time. The message is pretty obvious so now I'm confused on what I was thinking.
3) Rise Against-Swing Life Away (Acoustic) - After graduating from college in 2003 without any job offers or leads of any kind, I had some self esteem issues. I used to think that guys with the high paying jobs and homes and fancy cars would be able to sweep any girl out from under me. For the most part, I was right. This song helped me express those feelings that just because I wasn't making a ton of money, I still had a big heart filled with love that was ready to open up.
4) Story of the Year-Anthem of our Dying Day - This is a tough one. I can't think of why I would put this on here. Maybe I chose it because it was a hit at the time and then even if the girl in question didn't enjoy the other more random songs she would hopefully be into this one. If that is the case, it makes sense that I threw it in near the beginning of the CD. If you bury those "hits" then you risk the chance that the girl will turn off the CD before she even gets to them.
5) Turin Brakes-Pain Killer - Just a great song that none of my friends had ever heard. In fact, I can't even remember how I came across it at the time. That's not important. What is important is that this song is all around good. An absolute gem.
6) Oris-Lost - My friends Matt and Josh had started up their own record label while we were in college. They had a good thing going for them but unfortunately they didn't have the money to adequately fund it the way they wanted to so it never really grew. Oris was one of their first signings. I fell in love with this song when I first heard it and I wanted as many people to hear it as possible. That is surely the motivation behind this choice.
7) Limbeck-Don't Turn Around, She's Not Worth It - I got this one off of a Doghouse Records compilation. I loved the lyrics "I pulled up to some kind payphone to hear the sweetest noise come out." I always pictured the singer heading out on tour or something and he just needed to hear his girls voice. I probably worked with the girl who I was making this CD for, therefore the thought behind this one is that when my shift was over I couldn't wait to see her again the next day.
8) Vanity Kissed Vanity-The Fourth of July - Another band from my friend's record label (Random Play Music). It's a cool song but there's definitely no hidden meaning here.
9) J Live-Car Trouble - J Live is a really cool underground hip hop artist from New York. I'm sure I threw this song in there just to have some diversity in the mix. The song is about his struggles with a major label record deal.
10) Wheat-Breathe - When I first heard this song I thought it was so different from just about everything I had ever heard. I wished that I could have understood the lyrics better and that they would make sense in my life. Neither of those wishes came true so I just threw this song on the mix because it was good.
11) The Starting Line-Playing Favorites - I dug this off of their acoustic EP which I picked up on one of my first trips out to the west coast. While out there, I met some really great people that have become very good friends over the years. This song represented some feelings I had for them. I know that doesn't really mean anything for whatever personal situation I was going through in Pennsylvania in 2003 but it's still a very sappy and romantic song that chicks loved.
12) Rooney-Pop Stars - In retrospect, this probably wasn't a great song choice. Especially if I was trying to express some sort of feeling. I think it's very clever and the harmonies are great but its sarcasm would probably turn the listener away.
13) The Weakerthans-Reconstruction Site - I've never been able to fully understand the messages John K Samson was trying to get across in his lyrics but that has never kept me from enjoying his music. The line that really drew me into this song is, "Throw away my misery. It never meant that much to me. It never sent a get well card." I always thought that was a brilliant line.
14) Rancid-Red Hot Moon - Now I know that I made this CD in the summer or late summer because this is one of my all time favorite summer time songs. There's no underlying romantic meaning to it but it's a great song to pop in your car stereo, roll down the windows and crank up the volume to.
15) Sugarcult-Memory (acoustic) - I point out that it is acoustic only because it was released on the Punk Goes Acoustic record before it made it on to a Sugarcult album in 2004. I'm just trying to make sure the aforementioned time frame still makes sense. I'm starting to become certain that this CD was made for a girl that I wanted to date. The opening line of "This may never start," gives that away.
16) Jet-Look What You've Done - This is kind of an angry break up song. I wonder why I put it on there. My guess is that I was getting frustrated with the game that she was surely playing with my heart. If it's the girl I think it is, the game was brutal. Sleepless nights and a ton of uncertainty. I remember feeling like a squirrel in the middle of the road when a car is approaching. Do I run to the left or to the right or maybe I stay right where I am.
17) Long Since Forgotten-Don't Ask Why - It is becoming very clear who this CD was made for now. That's not relevant to this post though. If you could spend time one on one with this girl you would think she was the most amazing person you ever met. But in a larger social setting she started to become a different person. I could never understand why she tried so hard. The lines from this song, "I'd like you to say something that would matter, and to see the person that you've learned to hide," and, "I'd like to tell you something that would matter, and take away the things that make you cry." were almost exactly what I was feeling for this girl. I wanted her to be happy with herself all the time and not just when she wasn't in the public eye.
18) Matt Nathanson-I Saw - I'm a hopeless romantic. Most of the time anyway. I've operated under the belief that finding a great woman could alter my life and make it 100% better. My interpretation of this song is that Matt Nathanson feels the same way. It sounds like he's waiting for a girl to rescue him and help him become the man he knows he can be.
19) 311-Beyond the Grey Sky - More proof that this was made around summer time. Beyond the Grey Sky is another one of my favorite summer songs.
In summation, I clearly didn't want to express too many feelings to this girl. I would have chosen a much different group of songs if I did. It is a great mix though. I've definitely enjoyed listening to all of them again. Now I'm starting to wonder what happened to this girl. If it's who I think it is, she was a train wreck the last I heard from her.
Most of the things I've come across are completely outdated and about as useless as a box of plastic forks at a soup factory. I found old letters, note cards, Red Sox schedule magnets from the 2006 season and 12 packages of post it notes. To be fair, the post it notes could be useful but I'm not much of a post it user. There was one treasure I came across that made the weekend a success. I found an old mix CD that I must have made for an ex-girlfriend a few years back. Based on the songs, I'm thinking it's from 2003 sometime. I popped it in the CD player and it has become the soundtrack to my cleaning filled weekend.
While I have absolutely heard all of the songs that are featured on the disc over the last few years, I've never listened to them in the order they are in on the CD. Doing so has brought back so many memories, and feelings, from that more simpler time just 7 years ago. When one puts together a mix CD for a girl, there is a lot of thought that goes into it. You want to find songs that can express your feelings. Singers always know how to say it better than you do. That's a fact. If the CD is for a girl that you are currently dating, those feelings can be much more obvious. You could put a song like Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You on a CD for a girlfriend and (if she doesn't break up with you) she would appreciate the fact that you put your heart out there. If you're just trying to woo a girl, you can't be quite as obvious. You have to find songs with deeper hidden meanings so that you feel better because you shared your feelings but she doesn't get freaked out. Once again, basing my opinion solely on the songs that made this CD, I think it was intended for a girl that I was not in fact dating at the time.
Let's see if we can figure it out by taking an in depth look at the songs...
1) The Bens-Just Pretend - I'm thinking that I chose to lead off the CD with this song because it's catchy and it was hip. Not many people were aware of The Bens (a project featuring Ben Kweller, Ben Folds and Ben Lee) and I probably thought it would win me some points because I did know about them.
2) Hoobastank-The Reason - To be fair, I had this song almost a year before it became one of the biggest hits of the 2000's. I loved it when I first heard it but once it became the second single off the record and started being played on every single radio station about every 7 minutes ( I distinctly remember it being on four stations at the same time one morning) I began to loathe it. This CD must have been made before that moment in time. The message is pretty obvious so now I'm confused on what I was thinking.
3) Rise Against-Swing Life Away (Acoustic) - After graduating from college in 2003 without any job offers or leads of any kind, I had some self esteem issues. I used to think that guys with the high paying jobs and homes and fancy cars would be able to sweep any girl out from under me. For the most part, I was right. This song helped me express those feelings that just because I wasn't making a ton of money, I still had a big heart filled with love that was ready to open up.
4) Story of the Year-Anthem of our Dying Day - This is a tough one. I can't think of why I would put this on here. Maybe I chose it because it was a hit at the time and then even if the girl in question didn't enjoy the other more random songs she would hopefully be into this one. If that is the case, it makes sense that I threw it in near the beginning of the CD. If you bury those "hits" then you risk the chance that the girl will turn off the CD before she even gets to them.
5) Turin Brakes-Pain Killer - Just a great song that none of my friends had ever heard. In fact, I can't even remember how I came across it at the time. That's not important. What is important is that this song is all around good. An absolute gem.
6) Oris-Lost - My friends Matt and Josh had started up their own record label while we were in college. They had a good thing going for them but unfortunately they didn't have the money to adequately fund it the way they wanted to so it never really grew. Oris was one of their first signings. I fell in love with this song when I first heard it and I wanted as many people to hear it as possible. That is surely the motivation behind this choice.
7) Limbeck-Don't Turn Around, She's Not Worth It - I got this one off of a Doghouse Records compilation. I loved the lyrics "I pulled up to some kind payphone to hear the sweetest noise come out." I always pictured the singer heading out on tour or something and he just needed to hear his girls voice. I probably worked with the girl who I was making this CD for, therefore the thought behind this one is that when my shift was over I couldn't wait to see her again the next day.
8) Vanity Kissed Vanity-The Fourth of July - Another band from my friend's record label (Random Play Music). It's a cool song but there's definitely no hidden meaning here.
9) J Live-Car Trouble - J Live is a really cool underground hip hop artist from New York. I'm sure I threw this song in there just to have some diversity in the mix. The song is about his struggles with a major label record deal.
10) Wheat-Breathe - When I first heard this song I thought it was so different from just about everything I had ever heard. I wished that I could have understood the lyrics better and that they would make sense in my life. Neither of those wishes came true so I just threw this song on the mix because it was good.
11) The Starting Line-Playing Favorites - I dug this off of their acoustic EP which I picked up on one of my first trips out to the west coast. While out there, I met some really great people that have become very good friends over the years. This song represented some feelings I had for them. I know that doesn't really mean anything for whatever personal situation I was going through in Pennsylvania in 2003 but it's still a very sappy and romantic song that chicks loved.
12) Rooney-Pop Stars - In retrospect, this probably wasn't a great song choice. Especially if I was trying to express some sort of feeling. I think it's very clever and the harmonies are great but its sarcasm would probably turn the listener away.
13) The Weakerthans-Reconstruction Site - I've never been able to fully understand the messages John K Samson was trying to get across in his lyrics but that has never kept me from enjoying his music. The line that really drew me into this song is, "Throw away my misery. It never meant that much to me. It never sent a get well card." I always thought that was a brilliant line.
14) Rancid-Red Hot Moon - Now I know that I made this CD in the summer or late summer because this is one of my all time favorite summer time songs. There's no underlying romantic meaning to it but it's a great song to pop in your car stereo, roll down the windows and crank up the volume to.
15) Sugarcult-Memory (acoustic) - I point out that it is acoustic only because it was released on the Punk Goes Acoustic record before it made it on to a Sugarcult album in 2004. I'm just trying to make sure the aforementioned time frame still makes sense. I'm starting to become certain that this CD was made for a girl that I wanted to date. The opening line of "This may never start," gives that away.
16) Jet-Look What You've Done - This is kind of an angry break up song. I wonder why I put it on there. My guess is that I was getting frustrated with the game that she was surely playing with my heart. If it's the girl I think it is, the game was brutal. Sleepless nights and a ton of uncertainty. I remember feeling like a squirrel in the middle of the road when a car is approaching. Do I run to the left or to the right or maybe I stay right where I am.
17) Long Since Forgotten-Don't Ask Why - It is becoming very clear who this CD was made for now. That's not relevant to this post though. If you could spend time one on one with this girl you would think she was the most amazing person you ever met. But in a larger social setting she started to become a different person. I could never understand why she tried so hard. The lines from this song, "I'd like you to say something that would matter, and to see the person that you've learned to hide," and, "I'd like to tell you something that would matter, and take away the things that make you cry." were almost exactly what I was feeling for this girl. I wanted her to be happy with herself all the time and not just when she wasn't in the public eye.
18) Matt Nathanson-I Saw - I'm a hopeless romantic. Most of the time anyway. I've operated under the belief that finding a great woman could alter my life and make it 100% better. My interpretation of this song is that Matt Nathanson feels the same way. It sounds like he's waiting for a girl to rescue him and help him become the man he knows he can be.
19) 311-Beyond the Grey Sky - More proof that this was made around summer time. Beyond the Grey Sky is another one of my favorite summer songs.
In summation, I clearly didn't want to express too many feelings to this girl. I would have chosen a much different group of songs if I did. It is a great mix though. I've definitely enjoyed listening to all of them again. Now I'm starting to wonder what happened to this girl. If it's who I think it is, she was a train wreck the last I heard from her.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Ass Out Hug
I'm starting to think that those cultures in the world that believe in arranged marriages totally have it right. How easy would dating life be if you already knew who you were going to spend your life with? OK, it's certainly not a perfect system. You could end up with someone that you truly loathe and that would be bad, but think about all of the stress and aggravation you'd save yourself by not dating.
I don't mind being single. I generally don't find it to be a problem. The things I do with my life are decided by me and don't need to be confirmed with someone else first. That may sound a bit selfish, and to an extent it is, but I think being single allows you to be a little selfish. It's not an option when you become part of a couple. The only time time I do find it frustrating to be single is when I become genuinely interested in someone. That's the situation I'm currently in. I have found myself starting the dating game which is absolutely one of the most excruciatingly painful things to do.
I woke up this morning and thought a little about my situation. I was thinking about when it would be appropriate for me to ask the girl in question out again. There are all these unwritten rules that I wish someone would actually put down on paper. I was immediately overcome with that uncertain feeling in my stomach and haven't been able to shake it yet. I was reminded of that wonderful quote from Wedding Crashers...
"Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation."
The writers of that film hit the nail on the head. There is so much to worry about before you even get into an actual relationship. I'm one of the few that thinks it would be easier if you could just come out and say that you were interested in someone. Why is that so bad? If the feelings aren't mutual I can see where it would be rough on the other person but I think I'd rather know if I was barking up the wrong tree before I waste too much time over thinking everything. Then again, what good is a strong relationship without a little heartache?
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