Remember that song?

It's the nicest weekend I've seen in a long time but for some reason I decided to clean up the house. It seems to be a never ending battle that I've been fighting since the beginning of time. Or June of 2009. The last time I moved I found that I had way too much stuff. A major part of that "stuff" is the roughly 5,000 CD's I own. Moving is not fun when there are about 15 to 20 boxes of CD's. You see, you have to use smaller boxes because the bigger ones will be too heavy once filled up with the discs. Slowly but surely I've been going through all of those boxes and getting rid of the ones I'll never listen to. That's one of the great things about computers. I can simply rip the songs that I enjoy off these CD's then I can either sell, donate or throw them away. There's no more need to carry around Filter's "Title of Record" when there's only one song (Take a Picture) that's really worth a damn.

Most of the things I've come across are completely outdated and about as useless as a box of plastic forks at a soup factory. I found old letters, note cards, Red Sox schedule magnets from the 2006 season and 12 packages of post it notes. To be fair, the post it notes could be useful but I'm not much of a post it user. There was one treasure I came across that made the weekend a success. I found an old mix CD that I must have made for an ex-girlfriend a few years back. Based on the songs, I'm thinking it's from 2003 sometime. I popped it in the CD player and it has become the soundtrack to my cleaning filled weekend.

While I have absolutely heard all of the songs that are featured on the disc over the last few years, I've never listened to them in the order they are in on the CD. Doing so has brought back so many memories, and feelings, from that more simpler time just 7 years ago. When one puts together a mix CD for a girl, there is a lot of thought that goes into it. You want to find songs that can express your feelings. Singers always know how to say it better than you do. That's a fact. If the CD is for a girl that you are currently dating, those feelings can be much more obvious. You could put a song like Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You on a CD for a girlfriend and (if she doesn't break up with you) she would appreciate the fact that you put your heart out there. If you're just trying to woo a girl, you can't be quite as obvious. You have to find songs with deeper hidden meanings so that you feel better because you shared your feelings but she doesn't get freaked out. Once again, basing my opinion solely on the songs that made this CD, I think it was intended for a girl that I was not in fact dating at the time.

Let's see if we can figure it out by taking an in depth look at the songs...

1) The Bens-Just Pretend - I'm thinking that I chose to lead off the CD with this song because it's catchy and it was hip. Not many people were aware of The Bens (a project featuring Ben Kweller, Ben Folds and Ben Lee) and I probably thought it would win me some points because I did know about them.

2) Hoobastank-The Reason - To be fair, I had this song almost a year before it became one of the biggest hits of the 2000's. I loved it when I first heard it but once it became the second single off the record and started being played on every single radio station about every 7 minutes ( I distinctly remember it being on four stations at the same time one morning) I began to loathe it. This CD must have been made before that moment in time. The message is pretty obvious so now I'm confused on what I was thinking.

3) Rise Against-Swing Life Away (Acoustic) - After graduating from college in 2003 without any job offers or leads of any kind, I had some self esteem issues. I used to think that guys with the high paying jobs and homes and fancy cars would be able to sweep any girl out from under me. For the most part, I was right. This song helped me express those feelings that just because I wasn't making a ton of money, I still had a big heart filled with love that was ready to open up.

4) Story of the Year-Anthem of our Dying Day - This is a tough one. I can't think of why I would put this on here. Maybe I chose it because it was a hit at the time and then even if the girl in question didn't enjoy the other more random songs she would hopefully be into this one. If that is the case, it makes sense that I threw it in near the beginning of the CD. If you bury those "hits" then you risk the chance that the girl will turn off the CD before she even gets to them.

5) Turin Brakes-Pain Killer - Just a great song that none of my friends had ever heard. In fact, I can't even remember how I came across it at the time. That's not important. What is important is that this song is all around good. An absolute gem.

6) Oris-Lost - My friends Matt and Josh had started up their own record label while we were in college. They had a good thing going for them but unfortunately they didn't have the money to adequately fund it the way they wanted to so it never really grew. Oris was one of their first signings. I fell in love with this song when I first heard it and I wanted as many people to hear it as possible. That is surely the motivation behind this choice.

7) Limbeck-Don't Turn Around, She's Not Worth It - I got this one off of a Doghouse Records compilation. I loved the lyrics "I pulled up to some kind payphone to hear the sweetest noise come out." I always pictured the singer heading out on tour or something and he just needed to hear his girls voice. I probably worked with the girl who I was making this CD for, therefore the thought behind this one is that when my shift was over I couldn't wait to see her again the next day.

8) Vanity Kissed Vanity-The Fourth of July - Another band from my friend's record label (Random Play Music). It's a cool song but there's definitely no hidden meaning here.

9) J Live-Car Trouble - J Live is a really cool underground hip hop artist from New York. I'm sure I threw this song in there just to have some diversity in the mix. The song is about his struggles with a major label record deal.

10) Wheat-Breathe - When I first heard this song I thought it was so different from just about everything I had ever heard. I wished that I could have understood the lyrics better and that they would make sense in my life. Neither of those wishes came true so I just threw this song on the mix because it was good.

11) The Starting Line-Playing Favorites - I dug this off of their acoustic EP which I picked up on one of my first trips out to the west coast. While out there, I met some really great people that have become very good friends over the years. This song represented some feelings I had for them. I know that doesn't really mean anything for whatever personal situation I was going through in Pennsylvania in 2003 but it's still a very sappy and romantic song that chicks loved.

12) Rooney-Pop Stars - In retrospect, this probably wasn't a great song choice. Especially if I was trying to express some sort of feeling. I think it's very clever and the harmonies are great but its sarcasm would probably turn the listener away.

13) The Weakerthans-Reconstruction Site - I've never been able to fully understand the messages John K Samson was trying to get across in his lyrics but that has never kept me from enjoying his music. The line that really drew me into this song is, "Throw away my misery. It never meant that much to me. It never sent a get well card." I always thought that was a brilliant line.

14) Rancid-Red Hot Moon - Now I know that I made this CD in the summer or late summer because this is one of my all time favorite summer time songs. There's no underlying romantic meaning to it but it's a great song to pop in your car stereo, roll down the windows and crank up the volume to.

15) Sugarcult-Memory (acoustic) - I point out that it is acoustic only because it was released on the Punk Goes Acoustic record before it made it on to a Sugarcult album in 2004. I'm just trying to make sure the aforementioned time frame still makes sense. I'm starting to become certain that this CD was made for a girl that I wanted to date. The opening line of "This may never start," gives that away.

16) Jet-Look What You've Done - This is kind of an angry break up song. I wonder why I put it on there. My guess is that I was getting frustrated with the game that she was surely playing with my heart. If it's the girl I think it is, the game was brutal. Sleepless nights and a ton of uncertainty. I remember feeling like a squirrel in the middle of the road when a car is approaching. Do I run to the left or to the right or maybe I stay right where I am.

17) Long Since Forgotten-Don't Ask Why - It is becoming very clear who this CD was made for now. That's not relevant to this post though. If you could spend time one on one with this girl you would think she was the most amazing person you ever met. But in a larger social setting she started to become a different person. I could never understand why she tried so hard. The lines from this song, "I'd like you to say something that would matter, and to see the person that you've learned to hide," and, "I'd like to tell you something that would matter, and take away the things that make you cry." were almost exactly what I was feeling for this girl. I wanted her to be happy with herself all the time and not just when she wasn't in the public eye.

18) Matt Nathanson-I Saw - I'm a hopeless romantic. Most of the time anyway. I've operated under the belief that finding a great woman could alter my life and make it 100% better. My interpretation of this song is that Matt Nathanson feels the same way. It sounds like he's waiting for a girl to rescue him and help him become the man he knows he can be.

19) 311-Beyond the Grey Sky - More proof that this was made around summer time. Beyond the Grey Sky is another one of my favorite summer songs.

In summation, I clearly didn't want to express too many feelings to this girl. I would have chosen a much different group of songs if I did. It is a great mix though. I've definitely enjoyed listening to all of them again. Now I'm starting to wonder what happened to this girl. If it's who I think it is, she was a train wreck the last I heard from her.