Hereafter

I started wondering earlier today if my lack of posts on this blog is a direct result of a lack of ideas or if I'm just not that interesting. I'm hoping it's the lack of ideas. I'd like to think that there are some good thoughts that roam through my head from time to time. Maybe it's pure laziness. Now that I think about it, laziness seems more like a viable option.

I get to see a lot of movies for my job. Apparently I'm a member of the press so I get all of the invites that real movie reviewers get. I'm not complaining. It's actually my favorite perk that comes along with my job. I love going to the movies but I certainly wouldn't go anywhere near as often as I do now if I actually had to pay for all of them. There's something powerful about sitting back with a bag of popcorn and leaving reality for a couple of hours.

I do run into a lot of actual movie critics and I like to get into conversations about films with them. Discussions like what they do and don't like about movies are usually the hot topic. Generally, I find that we never agree but sometimes the stars align and we can enjoy the same films. There's one critic in particular that I really respect. She has an amazing knowledge of movies. My one major complaint with her is that I think she has lost sight of what people are looking for when they go to the theaters.

She will often say things to me like, "I didn't like it but I think it's right up your alley." At first I wasn't sure if that was an insult. Basically saying she thinks I'm a simple person and I don't care about the art in movies. I should be offended by that right? I am to an extent but not fully. I think I know what she means. I find enjoyment in some of the movies that she would find to be dumb. She would rant and rave about The American with George Clooney saying how brilliantly done it was where I would say that The Expendables was the best movie of the summer. OK, I wouldn't say that exactly but it's a movie that proves my point.

The American was boring and very uneventful. Not the kind of movie that the vast majority of people want to see when they spend $10 at the theater. When I went to see it, I fell asleep for a few minutes. My friend actually leaned over at one point to tell me that she was bored and she had to wake me up just to say it. That's how boring it was. Most Americans felt the same way as it did horribly at the box office yet most critics gave it phenomenal reviews.

Now The Expendables was a poorly written filled with horrible acting but it kept me glued to my seat for the entire 90 minutes. It was pure fluff and entertainment. Even Sylvester Stallone said that was what he was going for. He wanted to make a movie that was a throwback to the old style of the 80's action flick. I think he achieved superbly and so did the public. It was #1 at the box office for, I think, 3 weeks in a row. The movie critics did not agree. It did not garner very good reviews and some critics even said that they felt their intelligence was insulted by it. I think those critics have been insulting our intelligence for years.

Commercial success does not always prove that a movie is good (ie the Twilight series) but a good review doesn't either. Critics don't seem to understand that we just want to be entertained. We don't care that the director used a different kind of lens for the first 30 minutes of the movie then switched over to show a different shade of light. We want to escape our lives. We want to laugh, cry, ooohhh and ahhhh at the screen. Sometimes we want to think but it's more likely that we don't.

That rant brings me to the point of this posting. I went to see the new movie from Clint Eastwood starring Matt Damon. I had been under the impression that Clint Eastwood just couldn't miss. He was behind movies like Million Dollar Baby, Mystic River and Gran Torino. All really great films and some with Oscar winning performances. This movie breaks that trend. The opening sequence of Hereafter is amazing. I had goosebumps and was absolutely riveted for the first 10 minutes or so. I thought Eastwood really put together a great intro but unfortunately he blew his wad too early and the rest of the movie was a bit of a let down.

It follows the lives of 3 different people and their struggle with what comes when you die. The first person you meet is a woman that has a near death experience in a giant tidal wave during the intense opening sequence. The second is a young boy in England who loses his twin brother in an accident. Then comes Matt Damon who is a psychic who can supposedly speak to the dead but looks at this as more of a curse than a gift. At first you're drawn in because each character has a very intriguing story. Then as the movie progressed, I started to get more and more impatient as I tried to figure out how he would tie them all together. I'm not going to give anything away but the payoff isn't worth the wait. It has some very interesting moments but overall it comes across as being disjointed. Almost like it was thrown together at the last minute. That theory is very possible considering no one even knew it was coming out until about a month ago. Whenever I spend a good amount of time asking myself the question, "Why do I care about this" I think the movie has missed something.

Do I think it was a bad movie? No. Do I think you need to rush out to the theater and see it this weekend? Absolutely not. Wait until it hits DVD. You could even wait until it hits basic cable in 3 years. I don't think you're going to miss anything.

Facebook Backlash?

When I first heard that there was going to be a Facebook movie, I cringed and said to a friend, "I'd rather watch 30 A-Team remakes than see a movie about Facebook." To me, the creation of Facebook is a non story. The site is absolutely a great networking tool. There's no question about that. But is there really a story behind a site that was created entirely off of ideas stolen from other people (except the like button of course)? I'm not taking some self-righteous stance here and saying I would never use Facebook. I was late to the Facebook party but I still signed up and I've been able to get in touch with some great people that I lost touch with as well as people that I had hoped I would never see again. It's a great way to share my life with friends and also to kill some time. That being said, Facebook is not by any means an original idea and that's why I questioned the decision to make a movie based on it. Why should I care about some over privileged kids that stole other people's ideas and made billions of dollars? The answer to that question is I shouldn't and I don't, however, the movie was fantastic. It was put together in such a way that the monotony of the real story didn't seem quite as boring.

I've taken heat from some that don't agree with me when I say that Facebook isn't as revolutionary as many believe it to be. There are a few scenes from the movie that help prove my point. At the very opening of the film you hear Zuckerberg mention that unlike other schools, Harvard doesn't offer an online Facebook for its students. He even took the name from an already available service. Side note...when I was a freshman in college (1999) we were all given books with head shots of our classmates that we all called "The Facebook." That was 5 years before Zuckerberg's creation. Another example is when the Winklevoss twins are sharing their idea with Zuckerberg he asks how it would be different from Friendster or Myspace. Their answer? It would be exclusive. They wanted to create a site based off of Myspace but make it only available to Harvard users. Exclusivity is not synonymous with originality. Other instances in the film include the moments when Zuckerberg "thought" to add relationship status and photo galleries to the site. Both of these options were already available on Myspace before Z had what he felt were brilliant ideas.

Someone reading this might think that I'm a huge Myspace supporter. That's not true. In fact, I deleted my account around the same time that I signed up for Facebook. Even at that point, I hadn't been active on Myspace in quite some time.

Though much of Facebook was stolen from other ideas, it did change the game a little bit. Where Facebook succeeded was in its design. It took the disaster of images and videos that were on Myspace and simplified it immensely to make a much easier networking experience. When you log in, you're not instantly bombarded with a song or some ridiculous video that was posted in your comments. I also really enjoy the mutual friends section when you look at someone's profile. I have found many old friends simply because we had mutual friends on Facebook.

While movie critics across the board have been praising the film, the tech bloggers seem to have all teamed up to support the real Zuckerberg (Try THIS ARTICLE or THIS ONE as examples). Many say that it doesn't show Zuckerberg the way he truly is. That could be true. I've never met or spoken with the man so I can't comment on that. The people that have will clearly know that better. They have also complained that the film doesn't accurately show anything about social networking. There are two reasons for this.

1) The movie is about the creation and subsequent law suits stemming from Z's theft of the ideas. Not about using Facebook.
2) A 2 hour movie about people using Facebook would be the most boring thing to ever hit the big screen.

While we like to think what we're doing on Facebook is important (and to us, it is) it's actually not interesting in real life at all. Posting that you're heading to the grocery store could be important information to your friends, or burglars waiting to rob your house, but it's not important to the other 499,999,985 people that are on Facebook and thus, not important to the rest of the world.

Disappointment

I saw a video the other day that was giving advice on how to best use blogger. One of the tips was to blog everyday so that readers have a reason to come back. Clearly I'm not doing very well with that seeing as though my last update came over 2 weeks ago.

I don't normally watch FoxNews. Mostly because I just don't need that kind of aggravation in my daily life. I really don't understand why people put themselves through that kind of frustration. That's besides the point. Jon Stewart was a guest on the O'Reilly Factor last week. Somewhere in O'Reilly's line of questioning he asked Stewart if he was disappointed that he voted for Barack Obama. I thought it was an interesting question. Especially since we are inundated on a daily basis by new polls that show the public's approval rating, his performance rating and a rating on his choice of shoes.

I wanted to ask the question of myself. Am I disappointed in my decision to vote for Barack Obama in the 2008 presidential election? I don't think I am. Things certainly haven't been perfect over the last 20 months and there are absolutely things that could have gone differently. Even with all of that, I don't think I'm disappointed in my vote. I am, however, disappointed in myself. I'm disappointed that I, along with millions of others, put him on such a pedestal and expected him to turn water into wine as soon as he stepped into office. Truth is, he has been working on doing the things he promised. Why would I be disappointed that? I'm getting what I wanted. It's just not coming as fast as people wanted it to so there seems to be this uproar about it. It would be great if the unemployment rate would drop but the president can't force companies to hire people. He can offer incentives but ultimately it is up to them to make the final hiring decisions. That is just one example but it's the one that is currently on everyone's mind.

Things don't happen overnight either. That's simply not how politics work. His administration has not even been in office for 2 years and yet we all expect the world's problems to be solved. These are not things that can be figured out in a midnight cramming session. It takes time. We're at a point where we can no longer blame the previous administration for the problems that the country is currently facing but this country was in one of its darkest periods when Obama took office. That's not an easy hill to climb. They say that it takes at least 2 years for an administrations policies to show their affects. If that figure is correct, we should start seeing some big improvements in the next few months. At least we can keep our fingers crossed for it.

Benefiting from a tragedy.

Not that I should be surprised but even 9 years later, it was still impossible to escape talk of 9/11 today. I'm not insensitive to the fact that it was a tragic event that still means a lot to many people. I sometimes wonder if I'm strange because I don't share the same feelings with people about this day. I'm not saying I'm a conspiracy theorist or that I sympathize with the killers behind the plot. The truth is, I was in no way directly affected by the attacks. I was lucky to not have lost any family or friends and my day to day life was not altered in any way. There is actually a small piece of me that is thankful we were only attacked once. In countries all over the world people young and old wake up every morning in fear of what could happen to them as soon as they step out of their front door. We live in a great country that does it's absolute best to keep all of us safe.

While I may not share the same feelings of sadness that this day evokes, I do have feelings of frustration and anger. They are not directed at those behind the attacks but rather at those who capitalized on the deaths of nearly 3,000 innocent people. I get angry at the people/companies that began selling flags you can attach to your car, those ribbon magnets and the repackaged Lee Greenwood CD's. They created a product and told the public that it would make them more patriotic if they purchased it. They used those deaths to make millions upon millions of dollars yet they somehow fail to see a problem with it.

Lee Greenwood is one of my favorite examples. He had a moderate country hit in 1984 with his song "God Bless The USA." It never cracked the pop charts and at that time country was not as widely accepted as it is now. What does that mean? It means that no one heard or cared about that song in 1984 when it came out. Then in 2001, terrorists attack this country and his song that had been dormant for nearly 20 years magically gets reproduced and repackaged for mass consumption. When it was re-released in 2001 it climbed all the way up to #16 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts making it a legitimate hit. That also means Greenwood made a ton of money off of it. In fact, 9/11 is the greatest thing that happened to his career. He should really thank the families who lost loved ones for all the money he's made. Maybe he should give them some of the money. That will never happen.

I'd also like to point out one more thing about Greenwood. I remember being at a bar one night when the song came on. I was the only person in the establishment that was not singing along. I wasn't trying to make a point or take a stand. I just don't know the words. It's a poorly written and terrible song and I never gave a damn to learn the lyrics. Someone at the bar told me that I was un-American and I had no patriotism because I wasn't singing. For all of you that think Lee Greenwood is such a patriot for writing that song I'd just like to point out that he also recorded another version for our friends in the great white north called God Bless Canada. So does his allegiance lie with America or Canada? My guess is whichever country pays him more.

I didn't mean to get on a rant about Lee Greenwood there. I was initially planning on writing about the Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin rally being held in Alaska today. Palin herself said she couldn't think of any better way to commemorate 9/11 than being at a rally with Beck. First of all, commemorate isn't the right word to use here but we all know she's not the brightest bulb so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. The fact that they're holding a rally is not my problem. My problem is that they're charging roughly $100 a head to get into the event. Not to mention the $225 he's charging for a special meet and greet after the performance. I love how he is using the emotions of so many people just to put a few thousand dollars in his pocket. No one ever said he had class.

And there's one more thing. Last year when President Obama declared September 11th to be a day of service Beck went off his rocker. On his show Beck said,

"You want to talk about hijacking the most sensitive day of the year to anybody who has been alive in the last 25? You wanna talk about taking that day and using it for your own purposes? . .Your country has been taken from you. Your country is being taken from you . .Am I the only one that still looks at the skies of New York when a plane flies and still thinks of 9/11? I don’t want my history changed. I don’t want my traditions changed. And when we do decide to change them, we’ll decide together, not on a little conference call with all my little union buddies and the Sierra Club. You wanna talk about . . . the rape . . of a sacred memory? "

Is his rally not considered a rape of a sacred memory? How is asking people to shell out hundreds of dollars to hear you speak any better than the President asking people to volunteer time to help others on this day? The fact is that it's not better. It's worse. Much worse. It's one of the most heinous acts I've heard of since 9/11. It's a shame that more people don't see these people for who they really are.

Blast from the Past

The Social Network could potentially be the most pointless and absurd movie ever created. Then again, it could also be the greatest thing to ever hit theaters. I've been hearing a lot about it from friends and co-workers who seem to believe that it is going to be a phenomenal film. Despite all of their expectations I can't help but wonder why making a movie about the creation of Facebook could possibly be a good idea. I fail to see how a movie about a couple of guys who spent their entire lives in their dorm rooms and had no friends stole someone's idea and morphed it into a way for them to actually get friends. I mean come on. They took Myspace, cleaned it up and added a "like" button.

That doesn't mean I'm anti social networking. I have definitely found enjoyment through facebook and twitter over the last year or two. It's become a great way to keep in touch with people I don't see on a daily basis while also giving people shit in a public forum. There's something quite entertaining about calling someone's favorite sports team a group of no talent ass clowns and making sure that everyone in the world knows how you feel. And before you ask, yes. I am immature.

I've found that facebook also has a knack for bringing back memories that I had locked away in the back of my mind for a long time. We all have exes in our lives and, if we're lucky, they generally stay out of our lives. One can hope anyway. As of late my ex doesn't seem to want to follow those guidelines.

It's not really worth getting into but for the sake of this entry I will give you a little back story into that failed relationship. I was fresh out of college when I met her and we were together for 2 years before things went south. She was my first real girlfriend so everything was brand new to me, especially the break up. I was devastated and a virtual walking zombie for months following. Part of the problem was that her family and friends were my family and friends. All my best friends moved away after college so I was alone when we met. Her circle invited me in but just as quickly threw me out in the cold when she broke up with me. In the end, it was a smart decision. We were both young and naive and wouldn't have lasted much longer even if we did continue. That was four and a half years ago.

I don't hold any romantic feelings for her anymore but I do care about her and wish her the best. She was a huge part of my life and my development. They say you never forget your first love. It's true. From time to time she will get in contact with me for one reason or another. It's usually very brief and slightly superficial. I never initiate conversation but I'm willing to chat if and when she has something to say. I've noticed that recently she has been contacting me more and bringing up memories from our relationship that I thought I buried.

A few months ago she asked me for a mix CD. To a normal human being this would not be a big deal. I'm clearly not normal. The mix CD is a very sentimental thing for me. I should be able to piece together 17-20 songs without letting it get to me but I can't seem to separate the emotion from it. Sure, I can make a CD filled with random country music for my dad but that's not what we're talking about. She told me that she needed new music and the best CD's she has in her collection are the ones I made her while we were dating. Is it wrong that I was a little happy about this? I did crack a little smile knowing that no one else could replicate my musical knowledge and mix CD talent.

It took me almost 2 months to actually put the playlist together. It took longer than I expected because I had to spend extra time making sure none of the songs would give her the impression that I wasn't over her and that I was still holding on to a shred of hope that we might get back together. It's actually easier to make a CD of love songs for someone. It can be very difficult to find songs that don't express love yet also don't express hate. There aren't a lot of nihilistic bands out there. I did include some love and some hate but I would make sure to always follow one with the other. It took her almost as much time to thank me for it.

There was about a month of radio silence between us and then she popped back up again. This time talking about a restaurant that we used to go to when we were together. It's a very expensive restaurant (at least it was to a couple of early 20 somethings waiting tables for a living) so it held some strong sentimental value to us. Apparently the establishment is taking part in the Philadelphia restaurant week and she thought it would be worth mentioning to me. I suppose I appreciate the gesture but I don't live in Philly.

Why would she bring this up to me? Is there a method to her madness? Neither contact has altered my opinion of her but it has brought back feelings that I thought I buried long ago. Not feelings for her. Just feelings in general. I've been coasting through life the last few years without thinking much about starting any kind of relationship. Now I wonder if the time is right for me to start getting back in the hunt. I'd like to make a mix CD for someone. I miss taking a girl out to a nice fancy dinner once in a while. I would thank the ex for this but I don't think I really want to give her the satisfaction.

Is everything OK? Do you need anything?

The auto repair shop is a great place to get some good thinking done. The only other location that would even come close to competing with the waiting room of a repair shop is the bathroom. I find I do some of my best thinking in both places. Maybe that’s because I’m virtually shut off from the rest of the world. A repair shop is usually filled with other people waiting for their vehicles but they’re not exactly the kind of folks that I want to engage in conversation. If you’re sitting at a repair shop it usually means that something is wrong with your car and that does not a happy person make. I think I’d rather talk to someone at the DMV.

This particular waiting room is stocked to the ceiling with a variety of magazines. Oddly enough, they’re all women oriented. I see Working Mother, Better Homes, Ladies Home Journal and OK! Just to name a few. To be fair, there are a few ESPN magazines but there is definitely a female trend here. I wonder why that is. I usually see more men at a repair shop than I do women. Do women get bored easier at the repair shop? Are they more upset than men are and they need to learn about the 47 things he finds sexy about their toe nails? Am I putting way too much thought into this? That is a definite yes.

One of the magazines is open and something catches my eye. It’s a list of a few traits that women say they really like about men. They look at our eyes, smile and physique but the biggest thing is confidence. That gets me thinking. Where do we get our confidence? A co-worker of mine recently told me that I was very confident in myself. That caught me a little off guard because at the time I was analyzing a conversation that I had just finished with a girl that I’m interested in. Needless to say, it’s a good thing that analysis was happening in my head because it probably would have driven any normal human being to the loony bin.

I wondered why she thought I was confident so I asked her to elaborate. She said I understood who I was and I didn’t talk down about myself or praise myself. That’s a pretty fair assessment. I’ve always been a larger person through life. I’m not obese, and never have been, but I could always benefit from losing some weight. The best comparison would be someone like Jack Black. Sure he’s got a few extra pounds on him but he’s not disgustingly overweight either. ANYWAY, just like most chubby kids who get caught shopping in the “Husky” section, I took my fair share of abuse growing up. I was at an advantage because I played sports and was friends with most of those giving the abuse. It could have been much worse. Contrary to what you may find on Oprah or Dr. Phil, going through situations like that makes a person stronger. That could be where some of my confidence comes from.

I’m definitely confident about my knowledge. I was always near the top of my class in school. That kind of thing can be a blessing and a curse. For me it was neither. I was relatively quiet and reserved until mid way through my sophomore year. I sat in the back of the class and only did the bare minimum of class participation. I am not always right in an argument but I can always come up with enough facts to at least make it appear that I know what I’m talking about. That is something that I am definitely confident in.

Now that I think about it, the only thing where I really lack confidence is dating. Don’t take the wrong way. I have no issue talking to anyone. I could start up a conversation with a rock if I really needed to, although I think it would be quite one sided (Zing!). It’s not the women that make me second guess myself all the time. It’s the situation. There are too many unwritten rules to dating and I find myself always wondering if I’m breaking any of them. Am I coming on too strong? Do I go in for the kiss? Is this even a date? It’s amazing that anyone starts a relationship when you’ve got all these things running around inside your head. Then again, I’ve been single for about three and a half years so what do I know?

As defined by Webster’s Dictionary, confidence is “A feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.” It is also defined as “faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way.” I think that I meet the criteria so I guess I’m a confident person. Even though that last sentence was not very confident. I need to cut out the phrase “I guess” from my vocabulary now that I’ve become such a confident person.

Remember that song?

It's the nicest weekend I've seen in a long time but for some reason I decided to clean up the house. It seems to be a never ending battle that I've been fighting since the beginning of time. Or June of 2009. The last time I moved I found that I had way too much stuff. A major part of that "stuff" is the roughly 5,000 CD's I own. Moving is not fun when there are about 15 to 20 boxes of CD's. You see, you have to use smaller boxes because the bigger ones will be too heavy once filled up with the discs. Slowly but surely I've been going through all of those boxes and getting rid of the ones I'll never listen to. That's one of the great things about computers. I can simply rip the songs that I enjoy off these CD's then I can either sell, donate or throw them away. There's no more need to carry around Filter's "Title of Record" when there's only one song (Take a Picture) that's really worth a damn.

Most of the things I've come across are completely outdated and about as useless as a box of plastic forks at a soup factory. I found old letters, note cards, Red Sox schedule magnets from the 2006 season and 12 packages of post it notes. To be fair, the post it notes could be useful but I'm not much of a post it user. There was one treasure I came across that made the weekend a success. I found an old mix CD that I must have made for an ex-girlfriend a few years back. Based on the songs, I'm thinking it's from 2003 sometime. I popped it in the CD player and it has become the soundtrack to my cleaning filled weekend.

While I have absolutely heard all of the songs that are featured on the disc over the last few years, I've never listened to them in the order they are in on the CD. Doing so has brought back so many memories, and feelings, from that more simpler time just 7 years ago. When one puts together a mix CD for a girl, there is a lot of thought that goes into it. You want to find songs that can express your feelings. Singers always know how to say it better than you do. That's a fact. If the CD is for a girl that you are currently dating, those feelings can be much more obvious. You could put a song like Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You on a CD for a girlfriend and (if she doesn't break up with you) she would appreciate the fact that you put your heart out there. If you're just trying to woo a girl, you can't be quite as obvious. You have to find songs with deeper hidden meanings so that you feel better because you shared your feelings but she doesn't get freaked out. Once again, basing my opinion solely on the songs that made this CD, I think it was intended for a girl that I was not in fact dating at the time.

Let's see if we can figure it out by taking an in depth look at the songs...

1) The Bens-Just Pretend - I'm thinking that I chose to lead off the CD with this song because it's catchy and it was hip. Not many people were aware of The Bens (a project featuring Ben Kweller, Ben Folds and Ben Lee) and I probably thought it would win me some points because I did know about them.

2) Hoobastank-The Reason - To be fair, I had this song almost a year before it became one of the biggest hits of the 2000's. I loved it when I first heard it but once it became the second single off the record and started being played on every single radio station about every 7 minutes ( I distinctly remember it being on four stations at the same time one morning) I began to loathe it. This CD must have been made before that moment in time. The message is pretty obvious so now I'm confused on what I was thinking.

3) Rise Against-Swing Life Away (Acoustic) - After graduating from college in 2003 without any job offers or leads of any kind, I had some self esteem issues. I used to think that guys with the high paying jobs and homes and fancy cars would be able to sweep any girl out from under me. For the most part, I was right. This song helped me express those feelings that just because I wasn't making a ton of money, I still had a big heart filled with love that was ready to open up.

4) Story of the Year-Anthem of our Dying Day - This is a tough one. I can't think of why I would put this on here. Maybe I chose it because it was a hit at the time and then even if the girl in question didn't enjoy the other more random songs she would hopefully be into this one. If that is the case, it makes sense that I threw it in near the beginning of the CD. If you bury those "hits" then you risk the chance that the girl will turn off the CD before she even gets to them.

5) Turin Brakes-Pain Killer - Just a great song that none of my friends had ever heard. In fact, I can't even remember how I came across it at the time. That's not important. What is important is that this song is all around good. An absolute gem.

6) Oris-Lost - My friends Matt and Josh had started up their own record label while we were in college. They had a good thing going for them but unfortunately they didn't have the money to adequately fund it the way they wanted to so it never really grew. Oris was one of their first signings. I fell in love with this song when I first heard it and I wanted as many people to hear it as possible. That is surely the motivation behind this choice.

7) Limbeck-Don't Turn Around, She's Not Worth It - I got this one off of a Doghouse Records compilation. I loved the lyrics "I pulled up to some kind payphone to hear the sweetest noise come out." I always pictured the singer heading out on tour or something and he just needed to hear his girls voice. I probably worked with the girl who I was making this CD for, therefore the thought behind this one is that when my shift was over I couldn't wait to see her again the next day.

8) Vanity Kissed Vanity-The Fourth of July - Another band from my friend's record label (Random Play Music). It's a cool song but there's definitely no hidden meaning here.

9) J Live-Car Trouble - J Live is a really cool underground hip hop artist from New York. I'm sure I threw this song in there just to have some diversity in the mix. The song is about his struggles with a major label record deal.

10) Wheat-Breathe - When I first heard this song I thought it was so different from just about everything I had ever heard. I wished that I could have understood the lyrics better and that they would make sense in my life. Neither of those wishes came true so I just threw this song on the mix because it was good.

11) The Starting Line-Playing Favorites - I dug this off of their acoustic EP which I picked up on one of my first trips out to the west coast. While out there, I met some really great people that have become very good friends over the years. This song represented some feelings I had for them. I know that doesn't really mean anything for whatever personal situation I was going through in Pennsylvania in 2003 but it's still a very sappy and romantic song that chicks loved.

12) Rooney-Pop Stars - In retrospect, this probably wasn't a great song choice. Especially if I was trying to express some sort of feeling. I think it's very clever and the harmonies are great but its sarcasm would probably turn the listener away.

13) The Weakerthans-Reconstruction Site - I've never been able to fully understand the messages John K Samson was trying to get across in his lyrics but that has never kept me from enjoying his music. The line that really drew me into this song is, "Throw away my misery. It never meant that much to me. It never sent a get well card." I always thought that was a brilliant line.

14) Rancid-Red Hot Moon - Now I know that I made this CD in the summer or late summer because this is one of my all time favorite summer time songs. There's no underlying romantic meaning to it but it's a great song to pop in your car stereo, roll down the windows and crank up the volume to.

15) Sugarcult-Memory (acoustic) - I point out that it is acoustic only because it was released on the Punk Goes Acoustic record before it made it on to a Sugarcult album in 2004. I'm just trying to make sure the aforementioned time frame still makes sense. I'm starting to become certain that this CD was made for a girl that I wanted to date. The opening line of "This may never start," gives that away.

16) Jet-Look What You've Done - This is kind of an angry break up song. I wonder why I put it on there. My guess is that I was getting frustrated with the game that she was surely playing with my heart. If it's the girl I think it is, the game was brutal. Sleepless nights and a ton of uncertainty. I remember feeling like a squirrel in the middle of the road when a car is approaching. Do I run to the left or to the right or maybe I stay right where I am.

17) Long Since Forgotten-Don't Ask Why - It is becoming very clear who this CD was made for now. That's not relevant to this post though. If you could spend time one on one with this girl you would think she was the most amazing person you ever met. But in a larger social setting she started to become a different person. I could never understand why she tried so hard. The lines from this song, "I'd like you to say something that would matter, and to see the person that you've learned to hide," and, "I'd like to tell you something that would matter, and take away the things that make you cry." were almost exactly what I was feeling for this girl. I wanted her to be happy with herself all the time and not just when she wasn't in the public eye.

18) Matt Nathanson-I Saw - I'm a hopeless romantic. Most of the time anyway. I've operated under the belief that finding a great woman could alter my life and make it 100% better. My interpretation of this song is that Matt Nathanson feels the same way. It sounds like he's waiting for a girl to rescue him and help him become the man he knows he can be.

19) 311-Beyond the Grey Sky - More proof that this was made around summer time. Beyond the Grey Sky is another one of my favorite summer songs.

In summation, I clearly didn't want to express too many feelings to this girl. I would have chosen a much different group of songs if I did. It is a great mix though. I've definitely enjoyed listening to all of them again. Now I'm starting to wonder what happened to this girl. If it's who I think it is, she was a train wreck the last I heard from her.

Ass Out Hug

I'm starting to think that those cultures in the world that believe in arranged marriages totally have it right. How easy would dating life be if you already knew who you were going to spend your life with? OK, it's certainly not a perfect system. You could end up with someone that you truly loathe and that would be bad, but think about all of the stress and aggravation you'd save yourself by not dating.

I don't mind being single. I generally don't find it to be a problem. The things I do with my life are decided by me and don't need to be confirmed with someone else first. That may sound a bit selfish, and to an extent it is, but I think being single allows you to be a little selfish. It's not an option when you become part of a couple. The only time time I do find it frustrating to be single is when I become genuinely interested in someone. That's the situation I'm currently in. I have found myself starting the dating game which is absolutely one of the most excruciatingly painful things to do.

I woke up this morning and thought a little about my situation. I was thinking about when it would be appropriate for me to ask the girl in question out again. There are all these unwritten rules that I wish someone would actually put down on paper. I was immediately overcome with that uncertain feeling in my stomach and haven't been able to shake it yet. I was reminded of that wonderful quote from Wedding Crashers...

"Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation."

The writers of that film hit the nail on the head. There is so much to worry about before you even get into an actual relationship. I'm one of the few that thinks it would be easier if you could just come out and say that you were interested in someone. Why is that so bad? If the feelings aren't mutual I can see where it would be rough on the other person but I think I'd rather know if I was barking up the wrong tree before I waste too much time over thinking everything. Then again, what good is a strong relationship without a little heartache?

Rough Week

There's a line in the movie High Fidelity that goes, "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable or was I miserable because I listened to pop music." That's really an interesting thought. I don't think that a person can blame music for the way they are feeling but I'm positive that it sure can enhance emotions that are already present.

I've been in a funk lately. A rut so to speak. This isn't something that is completely uncommon. I have battled random bouts with depression for most of my adult life. The difference here is that normally I can pinpoint the situation that may have sent me down such a winding road. That is not the case this time around. Life has been treating me very well lately. Work is the best that it's been in a long time, my finances are in check and I even have a romantic interest that has brought new inspiration to my life. Where could the problem be?

Could it possibly be the music I've been listening to lately that has put me in such a state of melancholy? I have recently rediscovered The Weakerthans. They are an amazing band and are definitely one of my favorites. Singer, John K Samson, has a way with words that is unmatched by any other song writer. He can take the same emotions that others will write about but he injects a freshness to them that keeps them original. The song Civil Twilight focuses on someone who had their heart broken but can't seem to avoid people and places that used to mean something to his relationship thus making it impossible for him to get over her. Instead of sticking with a standard explanation he makes the man a bus driver who's route takes him by the house of his former love every other hour. The imagery in other songs like Left & Leaving and Everything Must Go, once it's figured out, can even bring an onslaught of tears.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I need to be listening to some more positive music. I can't help myself though. I'm drawn in by the ambiguity of the lyrics and I want to learn more about them, however, the further I dig, the deeper I get into the pit of despair that Samson seems to be living in. Whatever the solution may be, I hope I find it soon. A week of this is plenty and I don't need anymore.

Going the Distance Review

It's tough to make a film in the romantic comedy genre that really stands out. There is definitely a formula and, for the most part, it works well. People know what they're going to get and they still come out anyway. I love a good fluff movie from time to time. It's nice to escape from the day to day crap that brings us down and curl up with a cup of hot cocoa and have a good cry. Not that I know anything about that.

Going the Distance succeeds in a different way. It sets itself apart by showing a beautiful story without taking real life out of the mix. It's a very believable film from the situations, jobs and actor interactions. There's even a scene where Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are having dinner at a NYC restaurant that looks like it is being filmed on a flip camera. Sure it's only for a minute or two of the movie but that real life aspect is what kept me wanting more.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are a perfect fit for the lead roles. They don't even appear to be acting through most of the movie. Then again, I think they were actually together during the filming. I did find it to be a little more vulgar than I was expecting but thinking more about it, that's exactly how my friends would talk to me if I had been in that situation. In fact, there was one scene that featured one of the guys on the toilet with the bathroom door open trying to talk to the others. I distinctly remember being a part of a similar situation while in college. I assure you I was not the one sitting on the commode.

The supporting cast can sometimes make or break a movie. Old School is a perfect example. The film is about Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn's characters but Will Ferrell ends up nearly stealing the show. Justin Long's buddies, played by Charlie Day (Always Sunny In Philadelphia) and Jason Sudeikis (SNL), compliment him perfectly and add just the right amount of instigation and humor. Also, Christina Applegate pulls off the role of the over protective worrying older sister of Drew Barrymore perfectly.

It's rare that both men and women will be able to equally appreciate a film in this genre but I think this one is up to the task. It's a great example of a situation where a guy can earn brownie points for suggesting a trip to the theaters to see a romantic comedy and he'll even end up enjoying himself. Will you miss out on anything if you wait to rent this one? No. That being said, I still think it's worthy of a weekend trip to the theater.

I Guess I Was Wrong

There has been an endless debate about whether love at first sight exists. For years I have argued that the feeling we associate with love at first sight is really lust at first sight. There has to be some form of attraction to make someone want to talk to a member of the opposite sex. That attraction is lust. There's not really anything a person can do about it. The feeling is overpowering but that doesn't mean that it's love.

I believed that up until about a month ago. I believed that until the moment I fell in love with a girl that walked into my office looking for a job. I suppose I don't know if it is actually love that I'm feeling but it certainly is a power that I'm not that familiar with. I look at lust as merely a physical attraction and this is so much more. I want to be around her. I want to talk to her and learn everything about her. I want to see her smile at every chance I get. I spend time daydreaming about things that we could do together. Honestly, I'm becoming a cliche of epic proportions but I have no problem with it at all.

Truth is, I met this girl about a year and a half ago. I met her during a lunch meeting with a co-worker and I recall having similar feelings at that time as well, however, the circumstances were different. After spending nearly 2 hours talking and becoming more and more interested in her, I found out that she was not single. This came as quite a blow and I remember feeling pretty down about it. It was a strange time for me because I barely knew her. Actually, I didn't know her at all. I had lunch with her, her boss and a co-worker yet I was still hurt when I found out she had a boyfriend. We stayed in limited contact for a couple months after that lunch but she eventually that ended and I never thought I would see her again. That was until the day I saw her in the lobby of my office.

It was like a flood with all those feelings I had left behind flowing back into me at full force nearly knocking me on my ass. I was speechless for a moment and likely looked like a bumbling fool when she said hello. I'm not positive that it is love that I'm feeling but it is definitely more than lust. Maybe all these years I've been the crazy one and not all those people I've argued with. I'm not always good at admitting when I'm wrong but I'm willing to wave the white flag on this one. All this time I thought that I had been in love before, and maybe I have, but I've never felt these feelings before. I wonder where they are planning on taking me. Wherever it is, I hope it's a long ride.

Is this even possible?

If you posed this question to me about a week ago, I would have thought you were crazy. Now I have to seriously reconsider my opinion. The question is, "Is it possible to create a controversy and then make yourself a martyr because of that contrived controversy?" Sounds insane right? It might not be as wild as you think.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger has been in all the headlines this week after her racial tirade last week when she dropped the N word 11 times in a conversation with a caller on her radio show. I don't believe that her use of the word was a direct attempt to be racist. She was trying to explain that the word is used on TV and in music by African Americans and argued why the word was taboo. I personally do not use the word because I find it offensive but she does bring up an interesting point there. If one person can't say it, why can another? That's a debate that will never have an answer and I digress.

Her rant was not void of racial comments. While supposedly being interrupted by the caller, Dr. Laura was unhappy and told the caller, "Don't NAACP me." I'm not going to assume what situation she was referencing but clearly it was a dig at the organization that, while it is not without its own troubles, has helped millions of people over the years. It's this kind of snark and sarcasm that makes her show unbearable to listen to. At least to me.

These statements are not the controversy. Yes, people were upset by her use of the word and people were calling for an apology. She issued that apology and the situation appeared to be dead. No one was calling for her to be fired and there were no fines placed on her by the FCC or any other entity. Then, earlier this week she announced that she would not be renewing her contract at the end of the year because she wants to get her First Amendment rights back. Don't scratch your head too hard here because I've already been doing it for you. I can't figure out where she lost her rights.

As mentioned before, she was not, and at this moment will not, be fired and she has not been fined. Seems to me like she made a statement that upset people but many of us in the broadcast business do that every day. I said "crap" on the air once and an irate mother called up complaining about me. She said she couldn't believe that my station would allow such foul language from its staff and asked what kind of punishment I would receive. She even called it the "C" word. I apologized, much to my dismay, and we moved on. The N word is much more incendiary and Dr. Laura had the same punishment. She had to give an apology. I don't believe that's really a violation of her First Amendment rights. That's just called being a decent human being. Remember Don Imus? He made what appeared to be racial comments about a specific group of female basketball players and he was promptly fired. He never complained about any violation of his rights and he went on to find a new job. Again I ask, where are these violations of Dr. Laura's rights coming from?

One other point to be made is that the N word is not an illegal word. The FCC does not consider that to be a banned word like the F, S and C words for example. There is no fine for using the N word even though most outlets do shy away from it. If I were to say F**k on the radio one morning I would be fined $250k and would more than likely be fired as well. That sounds more like a violation of my First Amendment rights than her situation.

We live in a day where the more controversy and problems you cause, the more popular and rich you become. People in the media understand this just as much as a dirtbag from the Jersey Shore does. Why would a prominent female broadcaster let an opportunity for free press go to waste? That's what Dr. Laura is really going for. It's an attempt to create a controversy that is not actually there, and become the martyr of it. It's a brilliant idea really. Her popularity will soar as millions of sympathizers will rush to comfort her in clearly what is a blatant attempt of the big government to silence her. It's a shame that none of these people will realize she is bringing all of it upon herself just for a little extra attention.

I'm going to end this post with an interview between Dr. Laura and CNN's John Roberts. Roberts doesn't simply bow down to her like most interviewers do and it basically proves that this whole bit is a complete publicity stunt.

Why is this important?

The nation has a nearly 10% unemployment rate, China is breathing down our necks as it became the #2 economy in the world and people are having to auction off their worldly belongings just to get some simple medical care. Somehow, with all these issues going on, the biggest topic today is the proposed "Mosque" at ground zero. Why is this a major topic of conversation right now? It seems rather absurd and also seems to be a way for politicians to bury the lead and get constituents to focus on something other than the real issues that we face as a nation.

It's definitely a sensitive subject. There's no doubt about that. Had I lost family members or loved ones in the World Trade Center attacks, I'd probably have to think pretty hard about this before forming an opinion. There would absolutely be some emotions that I wouldn't be able to get over. Maybe my opinion would even be different than it is right now.

All of those emotions aside, the fact remains that what the people in New York City are trying to do is in no way shape or form illegal. The purchased the land legally and they have the fundamental right given to them by the Constitution to practice their religion wherever, and whenever they want to. These people are American citizens, many of whom were born in the United States. The project was even approved by a New York City board. The main reason for the project is not to put up a giant middle finger to the people who lost loved ones but rather to give those in the Muslim community a place to get together as there is a large Muslim population in, and around, that area of the city. And let's be honest. There isn't a ton of open space in the city for developers to build on. There is no difference between this and something like a Jewish community center. They are places where those of a certain religion can come to spend time with friends, play basketball, eat food and also worship their God. Is there uproar over this because of it's proposed location or because these people worship a different God than what is considered to be the norm here in the United States? I believe it is probably the later.

I heard a great comment earlier. The interviewee said, "Last time I checked, we were attacked by al Qaeda, not Islam." I couldn't sum it up any better. Do we still allow Christians to worship despite the heinous crimes of the Ku Klux Klan? Yes. Do we still allow Germans to enter this country despite the Nazis? Of course. The few people behind the 9/11 bombings were part of an extremist group. They were not the norm or the majority by any means. Why should we punish those who want to practice peacefully? There are nearly 7 billion people in the world with nearly 2 billion practicing Muslims. So few of those people are extremists that trying to calculate a percentage is ridiculous.

Emotions run heavy with anything that involves the September 11th attacks but that doesn't give anyone the right to deny American citizens their basic constitutional rights. We're told over and over again by politicians that they are fighting for our freedoms and to defend the Constitution. That means they're fighting for all of our freedoms. Not just those of white straight Christian Americans. A citizen's religious background should not come into play just as the color of their skin or sexual preference should not as well. Sadly, there is still a lot of bigotry that leads to fear in the world but hopefully in time that will go away.

What do you bring to the table?

That's a picture of country music star Trace Adkins. I've had the chance to meet him on a couple occasions and he's always been very pleasant and nice to me. He also has some very catchy songs like Honky Tonk Badonkadonk and Hot Mama, just to name a couple. I have no personal issue with the man (especially because he's a giant human being) but something he said recently made my ears perk up.

Trace is not a fan of American Idol(CLICK HERE to read the article). To be honest, neither am I. I've never seen an episode because I, like Trace, think that getting a recording contract and becoming a star needs to involve more than just being able to sing. There are a lot of people out there with beautiful voices that struggle in the business by playing seedy bars and coffee shops. Is American Idol an incredible opportunity for people? Absolutely, however, I've always enjoyed hearing stories about how an artist got their start and listening to how they stood in line for 6 hours and then won a million dollars just isn't that exciting.

Where Trace and I disagree is when he says, "You've got a great voice. OK, you can sing all the licks. What else you got? That other part, what else you have, is really what makes stars." Well, I'm not exactly sure what Trace brings to the table besides his voice. I've seen him perform, and while he sounds great, he has no energy and no stage presence at all. He strolls from side to side without showing any emotion and sings his songs. From time to time, he'll thrust his pelvis out to give the ladies a thrill but that's about the most excitement you can get from a Trace Adkins performance. I also happened to notice that he hasn't written a single song on any of his last 5 albums (that is according to allmusic.com). There was one song on his record "Chrome" that he co-wrote but that's it.

Final summation: Trace Adkins can sing very well but has no stage presence and doesn't write his own music. I can't help but ask the question, What else you got Trace? Seems to me that besides his life story, Trace is on the same level as an American Idol contestant.

2 + 2 = 4

There's so much pressure when trying to choose a college. You're not just trying to pick an institution with high academic standards but you're also looking for a place to be your home for at least the next four years. Seven if you're my brother.

Some people go to college to find themselves and figure out what life path they will be taking. Some also go for their MRS degree. That term is reserved for females that go to school for the sole purpose of finding a husband (Get it? Mrs.). This is often found at Christian or extremely religious schools. There are other reasons people decide to go to college but the majority are going in order to get a good job and make money.

From the moment we enter high school we are bombarded with information about why one school is better than another. Parents play a big part in the decision process too. It's natural for parents to want to relive their college days through their children. That might mean some school sweatshirts for Christmas or even a random singing of the alma mater at dinner. I stumbled across an article that found the schools with graduates that make the most money. Harvey Mudd College in Claremont, California took first place with an average of $126,000 a year. Sounds promising to incoming students that are looking to buy their first Beemer and McMansion after graduation. Too bad it has an average enrollment of 738 undergrads. I graduated from high school with almost that many kids. That does not sound like an exciting college experience to me, but that's me. We rank schools based on things like graduate salaries and sports programs instead of how they will best fit the personalities of the students.

My boss' daughter is a junior in high school and she is starting the college process. This girl is under an outrageous amount of pressure from her school but thankfully not from her parents. They're very level headed and are letting her take it day by day. Naturally, she wants to go to a "good" school so she's looking at NYU, Vanderbilt and other schools with big names and big reputations. These schools look good on paper, except for that nasty bill that comes along with them, but what if they're not the right fit for her? There's something to be said about a comfortable environment, local entertainment and a diverse student body.

There was one moment that decided it all for me. I was taking a tour of Villanova University with my dad in my senior year of high school. I wasn't overly impressed with the school during the tour. Yeah it has a beautiful campus and a friendly atmosphere but that wasn't doing it for me. The moment I knew that it was the school for me was at the very end as our tour guide was saying goodbye. Two of his friends happened to be walking by and they decided to drop their pants and walk by the group of prospective students, and parents, in just their boxers. The fact that two 20 year old guys walked buy in their underwear did nothing for me but the act itself made me realize that it was the place I needed to be. They felt so comfortable in their environment that they had no problem just being themselves and having fun. That's the kind of place I needed to be.

There's an old joke that goes...What do you call people who got C's in med school? Doctors. When it comes down to picking the right school, there are so many more important things to look at besides education rankings. 2 + 2 = 4 at every single school you look at. Nietzsche is still nearly impossible to read no matter where you go. College is about more than the promise of a good salary upon graduation. It's about experiencing life and discovering who you're going to be.

What's in a name?

My plan of writing something every single evening has not quite come to fruition yet. If I just set aside about 15-20 minutes each day, I should be able to do it but for some reason that is so difficult.

A friend of mine came across this blog and was asking me about the title. I figured I should explain. For about 2 years I was without a stereo in my car. That meant no radio or CD's while driving no matter where I was going. Eventually I started bringing my iPod with me for the long trips but on day to day activities it was just me and my thoughts. Sometimes that's a scary thing but more often than not, I felt that I had something interesting going on in my head. I wanted to get some of these inner debates "on paper" and thus the blog was born.

I blame it mostly on my job. I would find myself pretending I was at work and having a conversation with my co-workers on the air. I'd only play one part but the other part would still be coming together inside. There would be an inner list of pros and cons while I tried to anticipate which way my other half would take the argument. I had constant moments of "I see your point but..." Maybe I'm a little crazy but I had to entertain myself somehow. Being trapped on the JFX and the beltway for an hour just to go 10 miles is definitely enough to drive a person insane. Sometimes I'd even imagine myself debating certain people. Sean Hannity was often involved only because he was an easy target. He'd win some of the battles only because he has a team of researchers filling his head with numbers and statistics that he would carelessly misuse to make his point. I was only one man working against a giant spin machine.

Four months ago I finally purchased a new stereo for my car. Since then I've been debating with myself much less and my head felt like it was ready to explode. One friend said I should probably seek professional help for that but I chose the easier/cheaper route of starting the blog. Welcome to my insanity.

Salt Review

I should probably start out this movie review by telling you that I'm not a critic. Because of my job, I'm lucky enough to see a lot of movies before they come out. It's actually my favorite perk of my job. When I say I'm not a critic what I mean is that my reviews are going to be based on what I thought of the movie and if it was entertaining to me. I'm not going to critique the lighting and the way the extras acted in the 47th minute of the film. Why won't I be focusing on that? Because the average Joe (IE: myself) doesn't care about stuff like that. We just want to be entertained. I'm glad we got that out of the way. I also have a different kind of rating system. It looks a little like this...

Opening Night - You must see it in the theater
Rainy Day - Worth seeing in the theater but you don't need to rush out.
On Demand - Rent it On Demand before it hits the stores
Red Box - Worth dropping a buck on it but not much more
TNT - Wait until it hits cable and don't waste any money on it.

There are actors/actresses that just don't need to act anymore. They can be very choosy when it comes to scripts because they already have a great portfolio and plenty of money. Angelina Jolie is one of those actresses. When I hear that she's doing a movie I automatically have high hopes for it because I know she doesn't NEED to say yes. Most of my hopes and expectations were met in this movie. It's a perfect summer action thriller. A little bit of set up and then 90 minutes of action. No dull points in the middle where you start to get bored.

Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) works for the C.I.A. along with Ted Winter (Liev Schreiber). They're both at the top of the game and are brought in to question a Russian defector named Orlov that mysteriously shows up on the C.I.A.'s secret doorstep. Orlov tells Salt about a secret Russian program that trained spies to be inserted into American society, sometimes for decades, until a target date when they'll wreak havoc. He claims that Salt is one of those spies and that's when the mayhem begins. I can't tell you much more because it would giveaway the plot twists.

I really enjoyed this film. It had me glued to my seat all the way through and I never felt the need to check my watch to see what time it was in order to estimate how much longer I'd be sitting there. I also thought Liev Schreiber and Jolie performed very well in their roles but that shouldn't come as much of a surprise.

I give it a Rainy Day rating. You'll enjoy your time in the theater but I don't think you need to rush out to see it immediately.

What do you expect?

I came across a Wall Street Journal article about unemployment in America. Apparently in the month of June, the unemployment rate fell in 39 states, stayed the same in 6 and grew in 5. Sounds like a positive story to me. I'm waiting to hear the spin that Fox News will put on it later. Surely they will find some negative impact that lower unemployment rates have on the country.

Jobs have become the main focus of just about every political campaign going on in the country right now. I can't help but wonder why no one has brought up a very obvious point. There is nothing...let me repeat myself...NOTHING that any politician can do to get the job market back on track. They can talk about taxes and incentives all they want but none of it will inspire employers to open their doors and start accepting resumes.

Ask anyone what the biggest lesson they learned during the recession was and they'll all likely tell you that they learned what to live without. Employers are no different. People are so desperate to hold on to their jobs that they're willing to work long hours and take on extra responsibilities without the benefits. I can use my job as an example. When things really started to turn bad my company fired a good amount of people. I currently hold 3 titles. At one time, there were 2 other people there doing the other jobs. The company is paying me about 1/4 of what the salary was for the 3 other employees combined. They're saving a ton of money by having me do all the work.

State/federal jobs are no different. Many of those are funded by taxes. The national unemployment rate is 9.5% which means that 9.5% of able bodied American workers are not paying taxes. That doesn't even include all the people that just don't pay their taxes and anyone that gets paid under the table. States and cities have had to cut hundreds of jobs because there just isn't enough revenue coming in. For all of those people that whine about taxes, keep in mind that without them there would be no police, fire department or schools just to name a few things. When selfish people decide they don't want to pay their taxes, services have to be cut and that means more lost jobs.

Before you decide to vote Republican, Democrat or Independent, understand that it's a dangerous cycle. There won't be more job creation until there's more tax revenue and there won't be more tax revenue until more people are working and making money. Politicians have very little to do with that. Offering a business some kind of tax credit if they hire an unemployed person doesn't work much either because the employer would save more money without the employee. I don't believe we'll ever see job rates at a level they were just a few years ago. Maybe if some magical industry is created that needs to hire thousands of workers there will be some more opportunities but that's about the only scenario I can find.

Hi, my name is...

Two weeks ago I joined a gym. It's relatively expensive but I was able to score a couple discounts because of my health insurance and because I signed up for a year long contract. When I was asked if I wanted to pay month to month or sign up for the year I said, "Let's go for the year. Only thing that would stop me would be if I got fired and had to move." I fear that may become a reality sooner than I thought.

My job has a transient nature. People don't stay in one place for very long in my profession. There are definitely some people that can have long and amazing careers in one city but it's not very often you run into that situation. At this stage of my career I expect to be moving around to find a place where I can take the next step. That's been the story of my life the last few years. I've spent New Years in 3 different cities over the last 4 years. To get a feel for what this is like, imagine reliving your freshman year of college over and over again. No one wants to do that.

It's not always easy to pack up my life and start over somewhere new but I prepared myself for the possibility when I decided I wanted to get into the broadcasting business. Part of that preparation is putting up a wall to keep people out. It's a lot easier to say goodbye when you don't have anyone to say goodbye to. I know that sounds a little depressing and...well...it is. It's mostly depressing when it comes time for me to move. The only friend I've had around to help me move the last 3 years is an old college friend that traveled from New York to give me a hand.

I've started to throw those rules out of the window. My life has begun to blossom in my current situation and that has resulted in my guard being let down more and more. I have been very lucky to meet some great people that have added a lot of happiness and entertainment to my life. It's been a long time since I have had a group of people I could go out and grab a drink with on a Friday night. Troubles at work as of late are making me regret this positive change in my life. There is clear stress between myself and one of my closest co-workers and that is leading me to believe that my time in this city may be coming to an end. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can avoid that situation but unfortunately I think it is out of my hands. I think I need to start practicing my hand shake and use of the phrase, "Hi, my name is..." I do believe that I've turned a corner though. I think the memories I've had with these people will stick with me longer than the goodbyes.

Not worth dying for

There are a lot of things that I would risk my life for. My family members, $1 million and a bag of Herr's potato chips (I've been on a diet for the last few months) are just a few examples. Catching a foul ball is definitely not going to find a space on the list. Is it something I've always wanted to do? Absolutely. I've come really close to catching one on more than one occasion...

1) Citizens Bank Park 2006: I had just returned from a vacation with my family in Florida. There I purchased a screaming yellow track jacket from a Puma outlet store. It was perfect jacket weather the night of the game so I figured it would be the right time to test out my new outerwear. David Ortiz came up and smacked a monster home run heading right to me. I stood up prepared to make a jump for it, or even push the small child in front of me out of the way if need be. The girl I was with was definitely not interested in this but I sure could have used her assistance. The ball started to descend and came right at the kid in front of me. My heart pulled through and wouldn't allow me to push him. The ball hit him square in the chest and his dad was able to recover the souvenir.

2) Fenway Park mid 90's: I can't recall the exact year but Mo Vaughn was still with the Red Sox. My dad had purchased tickets in the outfield for a nice afternoon game. The fans in front of me had painted a sheet to look like a bulls eye with the words, "Hit It Here Mo," written on it. Sure enough, Vaughn got a hold of one and it started coming our way. Believe it or not, that ball came right to the people in front of me and they caught it in the bulls eye. That was one of the most incredible things I've ever seen at a game.

I know both of those events were for home run balls and not foul balls but I usually sit in the outfield so I don't come across foul balls all that much. They're pretty equal in my book anyway.

This subject popped into my head after I saw that a fan in Texas fell over 30 feet while leaning over the railing to catch a foul ball in the Rangers vs Indians game on Tuesday night. Unfortunately there is no video of the fall but thankfully the man was reportedly doing well and moving all extremities after he was taken out of the stadium. There is video of the players and umpire watching it happen and just the sheer look of horror on their faces is unreal. I have witnessed a man keel over and die no more than 6 feet away from me at a gym and it is quite surreal. You feel so helpless but can't stop watching at the same time. Again, thankfully this man is expected to make a full recovery but there's a lesson to be learned here. Foul balls are not worth dying for.

It's not a tumor

I've found that when people in a relationship find out that I'm single they automatically assume that it's not by choice. They also assume that it is their job to cure me of the horrific disease of singleness. It's not a disease. If you were to hug me you wouldn't immediately have thoughts of breaking up with your significant other. Although, I have been told before that I'm quite the hugger so maybe you will.

This calamity becomes especially evident when there is a holiday or major event coming up. On Friday, July 2nd, I went for a walk to try and get some exercise. It was a beautiful evening and turned out to be perfect for a little stroll. On my way back to my house, I walked through the neighborhood and stopped to chat with some of my neighbors. My current living situation may have it's ups and downs but I do have some incredibly nice neighbors. I couldn't ask for better people to share a community with. Their kids were out playing some hide and seek (it took all of my power not to join in), having popsicles and other adorable activities while the parents and I were engaged in conversation. It was all going so well until they asked me what my plans for July 4th were. I told them I didn't have any and it was as if the world was coming to an end. I could see their wheels turning as though they didn't understand what I meant. The first question I received after making this announcement was, "By the way, what ever happened to that girl you went out with a few weeks ago?" That's when it all came together. There is an assumption that I did not have plans because I am single. If the situation were different and I were in a relationship I would undoubtedly have some form of plans.

Side note...that's not necessarily true. There are a few things that bore me to tears. Fireworks, and parades are two of them. I know that makes me sound like I'm wearing an Osama bin Laden t-shirt right now but that's not true. I'm of the belief that if you've seen one fireworks show, you've seen them all. Same with parades except I think my distaste for parades goes back to my childhood. I had to march in every town Christmas parade growing up as a part of either my elementary school, sports teams or cub scouts. There was no way out for me. On the lucky years when I wouldn't have to march, or I'd duck out early, I was forced to grab as much candy off the ground as I could as if it were going to be our dinner for the rest of the holiday season.

Saturday, July 3rd, I went to the gym in the morning to get in a quick workout. All of my workouts are quick these days because I have a monstrous knee brace on my right leg. I can only do half of my normal work because all exercises that involve muscles below the belt are out. When I returned home one of my neighbors was out playing soccer with his nearly 3 year old son. He called to me from across the grassy knoll and at first I thought it was because his son kicked the ball by him and he needed some help chasing it. A lot of good I would be here. I can barely walk let alone kick a soccer ball. However, that was not his goal. He came over and asked, "How old are you?" This question is nearly always followed with, "Are you single?" Sure enough, he did not disappoint and did come through with the follow up. I answered both and he then told me he knew someone he wanted to set me up with.

I'm not opposed to the idea of a set up but there are some things that I don't like about it.

1) It makes me feel inadequate. It's as though that since I'm nearly 30 years old and I'm single, they think I do not have the capacity of finding a woman on my own.
2) It creates a dangerous situation. If things go well that's fantastic but if they do not, it can be horrible. If it doesn't work out there are the constant glares from the setter upper that scream, "what was wrong with her huh? Do you think you're too good for her?" Fair questions but the reality is probably something much more simple like she's a huge Yankees fan or something.
3) No one will ever know what is perfect for you. I flat out do not like the phrase, "She's perfect for you." I've always wondered how people know that. Especially people I don't talk to very much.
4) Physical attracting is important. The initial physical spark must be there but I'm looked at as a pig if I ask the setter upper, "Is she cute?" More disapproving looks come after that question. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but it is my eye that is important.

That wasn't the only set up attempt over the weekend. On July 5th my roommate said she knew someone she wanted me to meet. She suggested that we all go for a bike ride. Sounds cute right? Well it isn't considering I can't bend my right knee. Somehow my roommate had forgotten that I had this obscene device on my leg for the last month, and could have it even longer.

I guess the moral of the story is that not everyone that is single doesn't want to be. Would I like to wake up next to the woman of my dreams every morning? Yes but Scarlett Johansson is unavailable. I may not be making a conscious effort to stay single but I'm certainly not trying too hard to not be single.

My first post

I'm sitting on my extremely uncomfortable futon killing time. I seem to have a lot more of that these days yet I feel busier than I've ever been. Some would tell me to spend some time outside and soak up the sun. I already checked that off my to do list for the day and now my already tanned skin is on fire. My Irish and Canadian heritage does not allow for a lot of tanning. It's normally a burn or nothing. Tonight is looking to be an early night.

I'm watching Finding Forrester for the first time in 8 or 9 years. I forgot how much I really enjoyed it. This movie is partially my inspiration for starting this blog. Sean Connery's character, William Forrester, says, "The first key to writing is to write. Not to think." I found that to be an interesting statement. Truthfully, I've never been much of a writer. Most of my thoughts end up coming out of my mouth in some form of heated discussion or witty banter. OK, I use the term witty very loosely.

My plan is to post something here every day. Will that happen? I hope so. It would be fun to share some thoughts on a regular basis. For now, I'm going to finish my movie and wait for people to get off work.